How I invaded the kitchen and produced a feast worthy of an all-new cookbook

The Man

Abe Karmel

Age 27

2 children

Full-time kollel

Houston, Texas

The Plan

Friday Night: Onion Dip, Eggplant Dip (The Bais Yaakov Cookbook 2), Sushi, Chicken Soup, Poppers, Hasselback Salami, String Beans. Overnight Potato Kugel, Fresh & Easy Chocolate Soufflé (What's Cooking)

Shabbos Lunch:

Salmon over Linguine, Spicy Cholent, Grilled Baby Chicken, Potato Kugel

For the longest time I’ve had this idea cooking in my head (no pun intended) of writing a man’s cookbook. Think about it. For all the male foodies of the world, it would be a spectacular opportunity for hidden talent to debut. Dried meats, herring, homemade beer, cholent, liver, dips, and so on. A great idea, definitely. Practical, not really.

But then opportunity struck. While the world was busy hoarding masks and posting memes, I took the road less traveled and used this grand opportunity to hone my cooking skills. Since cookbooks also need photo accompaniments, my photography skills had to be beefed up too. I practiced shooting my passions, and the results were quite pleasing.

As I was deeply engrossed in Photoshop one evening, my wife walked in holding the Mishpacha and announced, “I signed you up for Man with the Pan.” Easy for her to say!

Menu Planning and Dessert Prep

Okay, so where will I start? Ideas start swarming through my head. Chicken-pastrami roll-ups, yapchik, meat boards, herring from my Bubby? Finally I settle on sushi, chicken soup, poppers, hasselback salami, string beans, overnight potato kugel, and chocolate soufflé for Friday night; salmon over linguine, spicy cholent, grilled baby chicken, kugel in the cholent for Shabbos day, as well as homemade onion dip and eggplant dip. Disclaimer: There’s no liver, since Houston, Texas, despite being the most awesome place to live, has one downside, which is that there’s no fresh liver available.

Starting out early in the week, on Tuesday afternoon, I go through all the cookbooks in my house looking for a chocolate soufflé recipe. I settle on the one from my Aunt Chayna Matyas’s cookbook What’s Cooking?

My son pulls over a chair and the fun begins. An hour later I take them out of the oven, with 25 minutes to spare before I need to go learn with my chavrusa on Zoom. I decide to give it a photo shoot. It’s pouring rain with low lighting, so it takes a little work to get the results I want. After 20 minutes of balancing shelves to block the light and frenzied setting changes on my camera, all while trying not to trip over the kids, I finally get the perfect shot, with two minutes remaining.

The outcome is outstanding. I leave my wife and kids to devour the cold soufflé with Trader Joe’s soy vanilla ice cream, and I make a dash for the serenity of my allotted learning time.

Grocery Order?

Wednesday morning my wife asks nonchalantly, “Do you by any chance need to make a grocery order for your cooking?”

“No,” I reply. “I think we have everything.”

“Are you sure about that?” she asks. “Do you need potatoes for kugel, chicken, or vegetables for the soup?”

Well, well, what a smart woman she is. So I write up a shopping list and place the order. Close call there.