Illustration by Esti Friedman-Saposh

The Man

Joe Blumenthal, age 36

4 kids

Educator/Administrator

Fair Lawn, NJ

The Boys

Eitan and Koby, ages 11 and 9

My wife has been bugging me to do this, and I finally caved when she suggested we choose a summer week when I am not working and the kids have no homework. I am a teacher and have off for the summer, while my wife works the same schedule year-round. We ended up choosing this week, as she was taking a course and I knew she would appreciate the break.

“Man with a Pan… With Half a Plan” is what I wanted to title this article. On Sunday morning, I wrote a few ideas for a menu. While writing the menu I realized: I. Don’t. Do. Side dishes. I can do mains. I have smoked salmon before; I grill chicken and meat all the time. But side dishes, chopping, kugels, and kitchen gadgets. Those I don’t do. My wife has “rules” about side dishes, like how many to serve and what types of food. She was not on board for a protein-
only meal. I also don’t follow recipes or bake. I have no patience for following all those steps.

We decided to invite a family for Shabbos lunch. In our community it’s standard to bring a dish for the meal, so when our company offered, I asked them to bring any side dish. One fewer that I would need to prepare. And it would still be homemade, so that fit within the rules. Our company decided to bring roasted potatoes. One lunch side dish done.

On Monday, I went swimming with my family, so there was no time to think about menus. On Tuesday, I decided I would take care of planning and shopping on Wednesday and Thursday. On Wednesday, I knew I still had time and could take care of the shopping tomorrow. I think by this time my wife was getting nervous. Actually, I know that by this time she was getting nervous. She did clarify, though, that she knew whatever I cooked would taste great. She was just unsure how much or when I would do the cooking. She also reminded me that buying side dishes does not count as “making Shabbos.”

On Thursday, I finally went shopping. By this time I had some ideas, and, knowing my strengths, I bought pre-cut veggies. No chance I was slicing sweet potatoes. Or peeling garlic. When my wife came into the kitchen during her lunch break, I casually told her I would just do all the cooking on Friday so the food would be fresh. She nixed that idea — the kids come home from camp earlier, save time for emergencies, etc. She was pretty adamant about that. So I got started by sautéing some onions and preparing a dish I had put together over Pesach. It has onions, garlic, potatoes, and cubes of salami. My kids devoured it on Pesach, so I knew this was a dish that would go over well on Friday night.

My wife went back to her class and then texted me that the baby’s teacher keeps calling and to please call her back. Turns out Shayna had a fever and would not be allowed to come to camp tomorrow. I guess that’s why I was supposed to start cooking in advance.