More or Less: Chapter 12
| February 20, 2019This was hard — I was trying to pry the keychain ring apart with my fingers, but it kept closing on me and scraping my nails. My manicure was demolished. And Ari would be home from Maariv any minute.
Finally I wrangled the sriracha-to-go keychain onto Ari’s key ring, Ari loves the stuff and I came across it while doing market research for a packaging company. Should I say something, or just wait till he notices? I’ll wait.
I’d gone to the gemach tonight and everything was exciting and easier. I still have to physically organize stuff, but at least I knew what to look for. And scanning items with the app looked so impressive. I even came home early.
I gave myself the night off — I had asked Ayelet to organize all my contacts and divide them by categories, as well as organize my form e-mails by subject, told her to clock herself. She thinks she knows it all, I might as well make sure she does, see what she can do. Thankfully there had been no response to that release she sent out without asking me, it sounded nothing like anything I would put out, a little harm, but no foul.
I heard Ari outside the door stamping the snow off his boots. I jumped, quickly put Ari’s keys back on the counter, and scurried to the sink, pretending to wash dishes we hadn’t used tonight.
“We must talk Purim,” he said, closing the door behind him.
“Purim? That’s over a month away.”
“I know.” Ari walked over to the kitchen table, pulled a chair out for himself and then one for me. He’s serious about this. I sat down.
“I’m really excited for Purim this year.”
“Oh, yeah?” I said. I wasn’t really sure what that meant.
I hadn’t given Purim a second thought. Honestly, I’ve mostly avoided Yamim Tovim since I was 26, when I officially became an older single. I did what had to be done, lulav and esrog, Arba Kosos, shalach manos, but it was more about getting through Yom Tov than planning and experiencing it. I’m just realizing now, I may have to reevaluate.
“Yeah, I’ve always loved Purim, but the older I got, the sadder it got. Not so much me, but the other older single guys, they’d just use it as an acceptable day to drink and escape, be miserable in a different way. And the seudah invites were always tricky. I’d want to go to a normal seudah, but my married friends would only remember me like a day or two before and by that time I’d have already been invited by those people who invite older singles.
“I never wanted to be that flaky opportunist single guy, so I’d go there first, then leave early and head to my friends. By then the party would basically be over and I was the guy helping the wife clean up and schlep tables because I was sober because I was driving, and the same thing would happen every year.”
“So you want to party on Purim?” I asked. My father was always smashed on Purim, I’m okay with it.
“No,” Ari said, and he looked at me so intensely, I closed my eyes for a moment. “I want to be Purim.”
“Be Purim?”
“I want to host a seudah, I want us to get dressed in coordinating costumes and give out pretty shalach manos, instead of me just giving my chavrusa a Danish and coffee in the morning.”
“Oh,” I said, sitting back. I hadn’t thought about any of this. Or really experienced this version of single life. I guess living at home has its perks. As does being female.
“Whaddya think?” Ari asked, giving me a huge smile, but it faltered after a second, like he was depending on me for his happiness. I want to give this to him. But there are so many buts. Who has time to plan a seudah? And matching costumes, you’ve got to be kidding me. I licked my lips and stroked my sheitel.
“I want to make this happen,” I started, “but I just have to think about how to make it all work.”
Ari nodded slowly, I saw him trying to decipher my words.
“I’ll take care of everything,” he said.
“I can’t let you do that. You know I’d just feel inadequate.”
Ari laughed. “Okay, okay,” he said.
“I’ll think about it, let you know.” I needed to buy a few hours to figure out how to make most of this happen without making an utter fool of myself. Matching costumes? I could already hear Abby laughing.
“Great!” Ari said. “But—”
My phone rang, distracting both of us. I didn’t mind the excuse. I looked down. Chana, Abby’s friend who I adopted.
“Do you mind?” I asked Ari.
Ari smiled deeply, he seemed content with what I had said so far, which made me happy, but something heavy had settled in my gut.
“Hello?”
“Shifra! Hi! It’s Chana!” Every phrase of Chana’s always seemed to be punctuated with exclamation marks. I wandered to the couch and sat down.
“Half of my daughter wants me to call you, the other half is dying.”
I love her faux drama. “What’s up?
“My daughter wants to start a small company selling accessories and stuff. She loves these tchotchkies — did not get it from me — but between you, me, and herself, she has no clue what she’s
doing. So I thought you might be a good person to talk to both because of the gemach and your PR stuff.”
“But she needs marketing—” I started saying.
“Yeah, yeah, I know you always say they’re two different things, and I believe you, you know more about both than anyone either of us know.”
She’s probably right on that front, but I won’t arrogantly agree.
“So you want me to call her?”
“I know, I’m asking a ton. Abby told me you have no life these days, but you’re a good person, I know you’d do it if there was any way you could.”
My heart melted. When Chana calls you a good person, you believe it, and all the self-doubt you have washes away. And I’ve been pretty critical of myself — with good reason — lately.
“My pleasure. What’s her schedule, when does she have downtime?”
“It’s such a chutzpah of me, I know, asking you to call, when you’re the one doing the favor, but I know she’d never call even if I set it up, she feels like a baby having her Mommy help her.”
I rubbed my hand along the couch cushion, following its seam. I totally got that attitude, at least with my mother; I wonder what I’d be like if Chana was my mother.
“Really, it’s my pleasure, Chana,” I repeated. “I’m happy to share my knowledge with someone starting out.”
“You’re a tzadeikes. Her husband’s at night seder from nine to eleven. So sometime around then.”
“Will do,” I said.
“Great, I’ll talk to you later, my little ones are supposed to be in bed but I’m neglecting them — benignly.”
I laughed. “Take care.”
I hung up. I stood up from the couch and walk into the second bedroom cum office. It was about time I changed out of my sheitel, and I kept the sheitels here, didn’t like them cluttering the bedroom.I turned and reached for the sheitel head and laughed, Ari was using it as a stand for his Beats. I removed them gently, placing them on the dresser, and made a mental note of another small something I could buy for him, a headphone stand, although my sheitel head rocking it out wasn’t a bad image.
“Hey!” I heard Ari’s voice in the kitchen. “Did you put these srichacha sauce things on my keys?”
“No,” I called to him. “It was the sriracha fairy, she heard you burnt enough taste buds on sriracha and this is your reward.”
“Thanks,” Ari called, his voice coming closer to the room. He appeared in the doorway, keychain in hand, a dollop of sriracha on his fingertip. “You’re the best.” He licked his finger clean. “Another one bites the dust.” He winked.
I smiled, but groaned after he left. I was definitely going to let him down on Purim in some, maybe many, ways. But instead of being exasperated with him like I usually would be, I’d feel awful. Maybe that’s a good sign.
to be continued…
(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 631)
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