Experiencing a home renovation from the husband’s perspective

My favorite food may not be waffles with syrup, nor is it spaghetti; but the analogy remains apt. Stereotypically, men are compared to waffles: straight-cut grid lines, with syrup that settles into its dedicated spots in an orderly fashion. Women are widely analogized as spaghetti, which creates layers and pockets, where the beginning of one piece cannot be found from the end of another. Partaking in a home renovation project becomes a life experience worth documenting when that waffle meets spaghetti… and, well, the rest is not quite yet history. A construction project often involves more than one person or chain of communication. There can be a spouse, designer, contractor, architect, and multiple other trades involved, where everyone envisions their tasks and responsibilities through their own lens. While I would never profess to be an expert, let me take you through my experiences to date.

First off, divide your roles. My wife fielded the design choices — selecting finishes, creating looks, and conferring with the design trades where applicable. I’m not entirely sure what the final look of each room will be, and that suits me just fine. I took over the mechanics of the project: discussions with the contractor, electricians, etc. And the budget. Yeah, that one was on me. Creating a detailed plan with expectation of roles was huge for us; the more specific the contingencies, the more functional the renovation.

My biggest dilemma is always how to divide my time between work with its own responsibilities and this project. The more time I spend on site, the less time I focus on working. It’s a catch-22 situation.

I know this is not the same with everyone, but when I look at a problem, I think with simple boxed solutions — that waffle with its straight lines to contain that sticky syrup. Usually my response is different from what other parties involved in the project will decide on, which results in a conversation of practicality (me) versus creativity (not me).

The bottom line is finding that place where they coexist, and it does somewhere.

Here are some examples:

> There was an “emergency” to repaint the shade of blue that was “absolutely so many shades off.” I tried to see it; I really did. You tell me blue — my brain divides it into navy blue and baby-boy bris blue. I don’t see anything in between. I’m an ineffective pair of eyes to bounce those ideas off of, which is why it works out that it seems like my wife has enough eyes for… both of us?