From time to time my husband quotes a line from a shiur he heard many years ago. The rav was talking about a clear definition chassidish men have about when to wear a shtreimel to a simchah. When it’s not family, a person has to make their own decision about how close a friend they are, and if they belong in the “shtreimel” category.

Making that choice is a statement. You clearly, tangibly feel close enough to the baal simchah to consider yourself in that shtreimel category. The feminine equivalent of this when I was going to my friends’ weddings was when to wear “long.” That system has long since passed, but we definitely have our own ways of conveying this sentiment.

Somehow, though, sending this message makes us uncomfortable when it comes to people who are in that “gray area” of friendship, not quite the inner circle. In those instances, said Rav Wachsman, don that shtreimel. Making the statement that you feel close to someone on the night of their simchah, a clear display of closeness, respect, and affirmation, will only result in good feelings. That’s the power a guest has when attending a simchah.

I think about this all the time when I’m trying to decide if I should go to someone’s event. Many times we feel like we won’t make a difference, the other person’s circle of friends is large enough, and goodness knows we don’t have the time anyway. But every single time I push myself, I feel gratified that I did.

This Chanukah season brings many opportunities for participating in Chanukah parties, community events (where we’re sure we’re not needed), and offering our help for a family
Chanukah party. If we push ourselves out of that gray area and into the close circle, our efforts to step up and attend or contribute will surely be appreciated and recognized.

CHANIE NAYMAN
Food Editor, Family Table
Editor in Chief, Kosher.com

No-Rise Cream Cheese Doughnut Holes

• 4 Tbsp butter, room temperature
• ½ cup sugar
• 16-oz whipped cream cheese
• 1 large egg + 1 egg yolk
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 2¼ cups flour
• 1½ tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• canola oil, for frying
• maldon salt, for sprinkling (optional)

Glaze

• 3½ cups confectioners’ sugar
• ¼ tsp salt
• ½ tsp vanilla extract
• ⅓ cup hot water
• 1 tsp coffee granules
• 1 tsp corn syrup (optional)

In a large mixing bowl, beat the butter and sugar together until well combined. Add the  cream cheese, eggs, and cinnamon and mix well. Add the dry ingredients until well combined.

Heat 2 inches (5 cm) of oil in a heavy-bottomed pot to 320–325°F (160–165°C). Shape the dough into small balls, being careful not to handle the dough too much. Test the oil with a small amount of dough to be sure it’s hot enough.

Fry doughnut holes until lightly golden on each side, about 3 minutes. Remove holes to a plate lined with paper towels.

Prepare the glaze by whisking together all the ingredients in a large shallow bowl.

Dip doughnut holes in the glaze and place on a wire rack. Sprinkle with maldon salt, if desired. Let sit for 15–20 minutes until the glaze is set.

Tip: These doughnut holes are delicious coated in a dusting of confectioners’ sugar as well.

(Originally featured in Family Table, Issue 821)