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y wife had an idea,” Shlomo began.

The dining room door burst open and a drone whizzed through the air. I shot to my feet and went after Tzvi. Not in the house, I’d warned the boy.

Returning to my seat, I watched Rubinstein bite into a Viennese crunch.

Shlomo continued talking. “She’s suggesting that we add an alternative package to the takanos plan. For people who want to sign up without their mechutanim.”

The rest of the chocolate disappeared into Rubinstein’s mouth. He pushed back his chair.

“We’ve thought about it,” he said. “And it’s never going to work.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“Very simple. A wedding is a joint affair. You’re either doing an affordable one or you’re not.”

“Right,” I said. “But maybe it doesn’t have to be so black and white. If one side doesn’t want to sign up, why can’t the other side follow the takanos plan to some degree? You know, all the shopping and gifts, plus all the wedding arrangements that an individual side is responsible for. And then there’s the vort, aufruf, and sheva brachos. There are so many expenses that don’t involve both sides.”

Rubinstein shook his head. “It’s never going to happen. Let’s say it’s the boy’s side who signed up. If they give their kallah a lab-grown stone, the kallah and her parents will be dismayed. Or if it’s the other way around, if the chassan is giving his kallah a two-karat diamond, how could she give him a cheap-brand watch in exchange?”

“But that has nothing to do with the takanos!” I protested. “This happens any time a wealthier and less wealthy family are meshadech. At least with a one-party takanos option, we could make it easier on the less wealthy parents by offering them a loan and cheaper options for many wedding expenses.”

Rubinstein sighed, shaking his head.

“Really, why not, Feivel?” Shlomo reasoned. “We want to help people out, right? Why should we limit the relief like this? Why shouldn’t we make the plan available to more people?”

“I’ll tell you why,” Rubinstein said, firing up. “Because if we offer a second option, people won’t take the plan’s rules seriously. In no time, parents will start making all kinds of exceptions. They’ll look for loopholes — buy their son a real diamond to give his wife in honor of their first wedding anniversary, you know all those tricks. We’re looking for serious, committed members who appreciate the principle of the plan, not just an enticing loan. Otherwise the entire plan will lose credit.”

What? Was this really all about protecting the credit of his holy plan? Was he ready to withhold relief from thousands of families for the plan’s image? I glanced at Shlomo, hoping he’d voice protest. But Shlomo just sat there, biting the tip of his thumb.

I decided to change course. “Look, Mr. Rubinstein,” I started, “you know we personally couldn’t sign up for the takanos plan.”

Shlomo shot a horrified look at me, but I plunged on.

(Excerpted from Family First, Issue 674)