How much do you fork over when dining out?

How often do you eat out? Do you get takeout or eat in restaurants? With the whole family or just with your spouse?

I don’t eat out or get takeout ever. I make everything at home, even challah. Very occasionally, the men in my family will go pick up a potato kugel or cholent as a snack, but my feeling is, why spend money on that when I can make it ten times better?

—Dassie Steinberg

My husband and I will occasionally go out to a restaurant, but only for special occasions like birthdays or our anniversary. During Covid, we ordered takeout instead. My husband also likes to eat out with the older kids one-on-one for their birthdays. And we also ate out or got takeout with each kid before they left the country for a significant amount of time, like before they went to seminary.

—Leah Lowy

It depends on how busy we are, but usually we get takeout or eat out as a family once or twice a month and have a restaurant date night once or twice a month.

—Brachi Silver

Once a year at a higher-end restaurant, twice a year tops at cafes or breakfast-type places, so in total about three or four times a year (which includes friend dates). We almost never take our kids out to eat, maybe once in the summer. Eating out is supposed to be a relaxing, pampering experience. Kids stay home!

—Ahuva Cohen

We go as a couple to a nice restaurant three times a year, for our anniversary and each of our birthdays. We also take any child over bar/bas mitzvah out to eat on their birthday. Sometimes during midwinter break and the summer, we’ll go out to eat with the family to a cheaper sit-down place with no waiters. When my girls are off or celebrate a milestone, we’ll do a breakfast for all of us too.

I’d say we eat out about six to eight times a year at a restaurant, and we get takeout (excluding pizza) about once or twice a month.

—Heshy and Chanie Michaels

Once a month, we go on date nights and eat out. We also get pizza to go for the kids about once a week.

—Boruch and Shira Berger

Extremely rarely, but that partly has to do with where I live. When I lived in bigger cities, with more accessible, affordable, healthy takeout options, I ate out much more. These days, I eat out maybe once every two months, and usually when I’m rushed… or out of town and want to try something new. When we do, it’s usually takeout.

Occasionally, if things are really hectic, I’ll buy pizza or hot dogs for the kids. Here and there, I’ll treat myself to a nice soup or salad, but it’s not very often. I currently don’t have a spouse, so no date nights.

—Baily W.

We probably get pizza once a month as a family, takeout, because it makes my life a little easier and less rushed. Sometimes as a treat (usually in the summer), we’ll take pizza to a park. If I’m running around all day (which I do every day), I might run into the pizza store and pick up a sandwich or personal pizza to go, maybe once or twice a week.

We hardly ever eat in restaurants. I think I did once in the last year and that was with a bunch of extended family for a milestone birthday. My husband and I used to make a point of going on date nights to a sit-down restaurant, just the two of us, but we really didn’t like the feeling of going home after spending $100 on food I could have made myself for significantly cheaper.

—Miriam Y.

We’re not big into eating out. We’re into healthy foods — organic, natural ingredients, fresh, no sauces, etc., and there’s very little in the way of that in restaurants nearby. My wife and I used to do date nights, but haven’t recently.

—Chaim Stein

For the kids’ birthdays, we give them a choice: either a family party or going out to eat out with both parents. Sometimes we’ll go out for our own birthdays or anniversary, but usually only for an occasion. For a date night, sometimes we’ll pick up sushi or calzone, something cheap, and drive somewhere to spend time together.

—Yechiel and Shifra Jacobson

Do you have to pay for a babysitter, and if so, how much does a night at a restaurant end up costing?

We ask one of the older kids to babysit, so it doesn’t cost us anything extra that way, although we usually bring the kids back treats if they behaved well! Not a huge expense, though, and still worth it.

—Leah Lowy

When we go out on a date night, we pay a babysitter $15 dollars per hour, and the whole thing usually costs about $450, including dinner. Dinner out with my whole family is much less because we go to less-expensive places.

—Brachi Silver

I usually plan for it to be around $100 to $150 including tips.

— Ahuva Cohen

At this point, we don’t need to pay for a babysitter, but an average night out costs us approximately $150–$200.

—Heshy and Chanie Michaels

I get my oldest to babysit, but it’s not usually more than two hours. When the kids were younger, we just didn’t go out as much because it was hard to get a babysitter and even when we did, it added up to a lot.

—Boruch and Shira Berger

Babysitting is expensive and makes going out hard to justify. In the past, we’ve excitedly made plans to go out to eat and then after crunching the numbers decided to cancel because it would be such a waste of money.

—Miriam Y.

We’re out in Jackson, and to find someone willing to travel from Lakewood to watch our leibedig brood can cost us between $20 and $30 an hour! Even at that price, making calls and trying to find someone to agree to babysit is time-consuming and frustrating, and we often can’t find anyone. Completely not worth it.

—Chaim Stein

We haven’t had to pay for babysitters for years, though we did take that into consideration. But since we only go out for occasions, if an occasion warranted going out, then the cost of the babysitting was simply part of the equation.

—Yechiel and Shifra Jacobson

Do you look up the menu in advance, trying to find more economical choices?

We have a favorite restaurant, so we pretty much know what we’re going to order, but if I want to change it up, I’d decide then. I would never choose the most expensive thing on the menu because it just feels like too much...

—Leah Lowy

We don’t usually look the menu up in advance, unless we’re thinking of trying somewhere new and we want to gauge if it’s for us or not…

—Brachi Silver

I look it up before so I can choose early and get excited, but no, not to save money — the point of going out is to treat ourselves!

—Ahuva Cohen

We usually look up the menu before we choose where to go, to make sure that the pricing is decent and that there’s food that we like at the prices we can afford, but not to be economical.

—Heshy and Chanie Michaels

We order at the restaurant — that’s part of going out and seeing what there is.

—Boruch and Shira Berger

No, I get what I like and anyway eat out so rarely that I don’t even try to be economical. Also, I happen to be a small eater so usually just a restaurant entrée will fill me up and that’s not too bad price-wise.

—Baily W.

We just order when we get there. Our goal is to be frugal but normal.

—Yechiel and Shifra Jacobson

Do you prefer going to upscale restaurants less often or less fancy places more often... And why?

We prefer to go to our favorite restaurant, because the portions are large and the prices are reasonable. We may try some other place occasionally, but more often that’s after the kids go out to eat with their friends (spending their own money) and then tell us about their experiences! In theory, I would prefer to go to less fancy places more often, but practically it’s really hard to get out of the house, so for now we go to a more upscale restaurant less often.

—Leah Lowy

Mostly upscale for date nights, but we have a few casual places that we like too. I don’t think it’s worth spending money on food I could easily make at home; if I go out, I want it to be a mini-vacation, and to me, that means high end. When we go out with the kids, it’s much more casual, because that’s what my kids prefer, and because it’s more about teaching them restaurant etiquette and spending time together in a place where we won’t annoy patrons looking for a quiet night out.

—Brachi Silver

We prefer to go to middle-of-the-road-type restaurants more often, because they’re more affordable, and the children can choose whatever they want and feel good about it. We don’t like going to upscale restaurants, because once we’re already going out, we don’t want to have to feel stingy or limited.

—Heshy and Chanie Michaels

Less fancy more often.

—Boruch and Shira Berger

The more important thing for me is the type of food. I’m a picky eater and prefer milchigs, so, fancy or not, as long as it’s milchig and not pizza, I’m interested!

—Baily W.

Less fancy more often.

—Miriam Y.

That doesn’t matter to us. What matters to us is that the restaurant uses no chemicals, sweeteners and sauces, etc. My wife would never in a million years sit down at a restaurant and eat a steak — not unless it was grass-fed, organic etc., i.e., highly unlikely in Lakewood! Yes, we have a different dynamic from that of most people, and even when we eat out its mostly simple chickens, soups or kugels.

—Chaim Stein

I’d prefer less fancy more often, even if I lived in New York. I don’t need ambiance.

—Yechiel and Shifra Jacobson

How much do you tip?

Australians don’t usually tip.

—Leah Lowy

Usually about 22%. Being a generous tipper was something I noticed about my husband while we were dating, and I still appreciate it about him!

—Brachi Silver

In Israel, 10% is acceptable. I may tip up to 15% if the service was particularly great.

—Ahuva Cohen

Whatever the restaurant suggests — between 15% and 25%.

—Heshy and Chanie Michaels

About 18%.

—Boruch and Shira Berger

When I eat in restaurants, I tip 20%.

—Baily W.

Whatever the standard is. We don’t go to high-end restaurants. It’s usually the kind of places where you get your own food and sit down.

—Chaim Stein

As little as we can get away with! We’re not trying to win friends and influence people here, but we also don’t want to make a chillul Hashem.

—Yechiel and Shifra Jacobson

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 934)