My job was to make sure Chana was getting proper nutrition, and I felt I was failing her

As told to Faigy Peritzman

Chana, my second child, was born on a Friday morning. As Shabbos approached, my husband went back home to be with my older daughter, planning on returning the next morning after he named the baby in shul. I settled in to spend Shabbos in the hospital, so grateful to Hashem for all the blessings in my life.

Our little Chana began having prolonged screaming episodes that very first night. By the time she was three days old, I’d already booked our first appointment with Prissy, a lactation consultant. My older daughter had been a difficult eater who refused a bottle, and I wanted to do it “right” this time around for Chana.

Yet Chana just couldn’t seem to get the hang of nursing. She choked, gagged, sputtered, and screamed when she was nursing. Chana was evaluated by an ENT who snipped both her lip-tie and tongue-tie when she was six days old, but the feedings didn’t improve. She would try so hard to nurse but screamed after almost every gulp. She needed to be burped after every successful swallow, and often sounded like a tiny bomb was detonating deep in her belly. She was clearly swallowing air, but from where?
Over the next three weeks, I visited the lactation consultant twice a week, trying every bottle, nursing position, and trick that she had up her sleeve. Prissy was very professional and had lots of experience, so I was hopeful that she would find the secret approach that would get Chana to nurse successfully. So far, the only way I could nurse her without her gagging and screaming was if she was lying flat on her back with her head tilted upward at an extreme angle. It seemed crazy that this was the only thing that was semi-helping. Prissy sent us back to have the lip-tie redone, but there was still no improvement.

Feeding Chana was very stressful. My job was to make sure Chana was getting proper nutrition, and I felt I was failing her.