Nine writers recount their search — and what they found

I

’m a teacher, and mothers often complain that to me that their talented daughters are falling between the cracks, not getting a chance to shine. They argue that it’s always the same girls being chosen. While I sympathize with their frustration, I also assure them that things aren’t always so glitzy on the shiny side.

Winning approval is addictive and heady; it becomes an endless cycle. You need to continue exceeding expectations at every test and production. There’s always one more person to impress, one more mountain to climb.

I still remember overhearing a conversation my mother had with a neighbor before a relative’s wedding. “Yes, my daughter is extremely talented, but if only she’d lose five pounds before the wedding,” she said.

I was young. Too young to lose five pounds on my own the healthy way. But everyone was so confident in my abilities; I couldn’t let them down. So what if my plan for losing weight involved sticking a finger down my throat?