Nine writers recount their search — and what they found

“S

earching” is the theme. Aren’t we all searching for something beyond chometz or the perfect Yom Tov outfit? Aren’t so many of us searching — for our soulmate, the right lifestyle, the right occupation, the right way to raise our children? So much of life is about searching.

But what if searching moves to the esoteric? Sometimes Hashem’s plan presents us with the need to search — not to understand His reasoning, but to discover how He wishes us to implement His plan. Sometimes we find ourselves with a very different situation than we’d anticipated, one that is incomprehensible to our mortal minds.

We search when His plan seems to diminish our ability to serve Him as we might wish. Why would He choose not to allow us to find our soulmate so we could build a bayis ne’eman to bring Him glory? Why would He give us physical disabilities or ailments that make serving Him far more challenging? Why wouldn’t He doesn’t bless us with children to continue His legacy?

What if He recalls the neshamah of a spouse, a child, a sibling, a friend, a gadol who would have glorified His world? Our search then becomes the elusive “Why?” Our search is not for the “madua” of Hashem’s unfathomable ways, beyond our comprehension, but for the why of the holy, inspired lashon hakodesh, “lamah.” L’mah, for what. For what purpose have I been given these challenges?