Sarah: It was painful for me that Eli did not fit the mold I prepared for him. But now it’s painful for me that I never accepted him because of that.

Therapist: By letting go of your preconceived plans for your child, you make room for their strengths to emerge.

Eli: I’m starting to get why my family reads all day.

With practice, Eli’s visualization and prediction skills improve, and consequently, his reading comprehension does too. He can understand information presented to him. The next step is inferencing, understanding information that’s not explicitly communicated.

I show Eli a picture of two men running out of a house to escape a flood. “We need to examine all sides of the situation. Remember the diamond? Every diamond has many sides.”

“Like me, I have many sides.” Eli rolls his eyes but he’s grinning.

“Exactly. An appraiser examines a gem carefully. You need to examine every situation like that. So appraise this picture for me. What do you see?” [An appraiser notices details that escape an untrained eye: size, shading, fissures. Eli needs to examine every situation like that — search for clues to understand the unspoken story.]

“Two guys running.”

“Why are they running?”

“There’s a flood.”

“Look for hints. Why do you think they waited until the last minute to leave? Where might the rest of their family be? What do you think will happen to their things? How do you know?” [Inferencing is the skill of reading the hints around you.]

Next, I help Eli write a paragraph based on the information he inferred from the picture.

We practice with all kinds of photos: daily life, news, even comics. Once Eli can infer from pictures, we move on to paragraphs.

“The woman entered the store under the large red bulls-eye sign,” Eli reads. “She placed the little girl in the red shopping cart and began to walk up and down the aisles. In her cart she placed pencils, notebooks, and glue.”

“Where do you think they are?”

“A store.”

“Right. Any idea which store? Look for hints.”

“Target?”

“Exactly! How do you know?”

“The red bull’s-eye. The red carts.”

“Excellent. When is this taking place? Can you find a hint?”

“Uh… during the daytime, because a little girl is with her.”

“Fantastic. What else?”

“Before school starts. They’re buying school supplies.”

When Eli can infer from a paragraph, we make it harder. “Say I want to tell the same story, but about a different store. They’re in a bakery. Which details should change?” Eli changes the red sign, takes away the carts, and describes a bakery counter instead of aisles. [Eli needs to draw on all his new skills to do this — visualization, comprehension, and inferencing.]

Eli isn’t the only one making progress.

“I feel a little better,” Sarah admits. “I’m coming to see Eli as his own person.”

I go back to the appraiser metaphor. “You’re starting to look at every facet. Not just his intelligence or his grades. There’s so much to value in Eli.”

“Yeah… sorry about that first time,” she says awkwardly.

“I’m wondering — what made you decide to come back?”

Sarah frowns. “Combination of factors. Eli does need help. Besides, he was really moody. I think all our badgering is… destroying something in him. I wasn’t sure what to do, honestly.

“Then I heard Eli asking my husband if we have a book about the Titanic. I had never before seen Eli voluntarily pick up a book. So here we are.”

Take It Home

If your child needs help with reading comprehension and social inferencing, here are some ways to practice with him:

• Cut out cool pictures or photos from newspapers and magazines. Study them and have fun writing captions together.
• Read short, interesting news stories and answer the WH questions.
• Read books like the Specific Skills series, which offers short paragraphs followed by a few comprehension questions. The books are leveled, so you can move up as your child progresses.
• Enjoy books that develop deductive reasoning skills like A Yiddishe Kop by Gadi Pollack. Use visuals to develop inferential thinking skills.
• Every child needs to feel appreciated and valued by the most important person in his life. It can be challenging to raise a child whose strengths and weaknesses are very different than yours. Here are some suggestions to smooth the way:
• Make a list of your child’s strengths and reread it often.
• Compliment your child on her strengths often, especially when other family members are present. This will help your child feel valued.
• Intelligence, and other talents, are gifts that one receives, and should not inspire pride. Instead, praise your child (and yourself) for his effort and perseverance in any area.
• Every child needs to shine. Nurture your child’s talents so she has the opportunity to feel accomplished and successful.

Originally featured in Family First, Issue 611. Originally featured in Family First, Issue 559. D. Himy, M.S. CCC-SLP, is a speech-language pathologist in private practice for over 15 years. She is the creator of the Link-It reading comprehension and writing curriculum for elementary school students and directs continuing education programs for speech-language pathologists and educators.)