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| Parshah |

Maintaining Messages

“Like the practice of the land of Mitzrayim, in which you dwelled, you shall not do…” (Vayikra 18:3).

 

The Ramban explains that because the Egyptians were steeped in immorality, we’re warned in this pasuk not to act as they did.

But the pasuk is saying something more. Don’t do as the Mitzrim did refers to all their actions, not just their immoral behavior — specifically their actions at the time of the Makkos.

When things were bad, they begged Hashem to take the plague away, but as soon as things returned to normal, they hardened their hearts and refused to repent.

This is behavior that we too should be aware of and protect ourselves from. (Rav Shach, Mei’rosh Amanah)

The waiting room in the hospital was dark and gloomy. It was an older wing that needed renovating. The walls were painted a dull blue, industrial but depressing, reflecting the general mood of the patients.

Technically, the wing was devoted to outpatient services, but many of those gathered had spent countless hours as inpatients and were facing countless more.

I sat with my friend as she fidgeted, the minutes ticking endlessly by. I couldn’t blame her for her tension.

We were waiting for her appointment with her surgeon to determine the results of a recent biopsy. As her husband couldn’t make it, she’d asked me to accompany her. I was both honored and humbled and so badly wanted to provide sufficient support for her.

Why must a person constantly remind himself how to behave? Can’t a sensible person rely on his logic and reasoning that once he knows fire burns, he’ll instinctively recognize the danger and flee? We’re not children, acting without thinking.

But we see this is not so. Just like the physical body needs food and sleep even though he ate and slept yesterday, so too with our spiritual needs.

A person may receive inspiration from a message in his life and do teshuvah, but eventually that spiritual sustenance will wear off and he’ll need inspiration again.

In Devarim (11:13) it says: “And it will be that if you listen to the commandments that I command you today…” Rashi comments that we must always view Hashem’s commandments as if we received them fresh that day. It’s not enough to say that yesterday I fed my soul; our souls need constant spiritual nourishment to withstand life’s experiences and remain spiritually strong.

Eventually her name was called. We walked down a narrow corridor (a more morose blue; what were the decorators thinking?) and entered her doctor’s office. He was shuffling papers as we sat down and I tried perusing his face, hoping to decipher if the news would be devastating or not. Finally, he looked up, holding a single paper aloft.

“Mrs. Steinberg?” His face broke out in a smile. “Benign.”

She grabbed the paper like a lifeline, clutching it as she reread the few lines of print, imprinting the lease on life she’d just been offered into  her mind.

Our mood as we left the office was decidedly different. Weren’t those walls a cheerful hue of blue?

Rav Saadiah Gaon states that the definition of a true “mushlam” — a complete person — is one who does teshuvah every day based on the new understandings he acquired that day. Every day we are different, with new maturity and understanding, and that must be reflected in our daily strengthening of our souls. This is why we are commanded to read Shema every day — morning and evening — even though yesterday we accepted upon ourselves the yoke of malchus Shamayim. Our souls need constant sustenance.

As we walked outside to the car, I breathed in the fresh air, appreciating it after the stale, suffocating scent of despair I’d inhaled in the hospital.

I opened my car door, but my friend just stood there, her face lifted toward the breeze and the clouds.

“I wonder how long it will last,” she murmured.

“What will last?” My voice was a tad sharp, hoping to nudge her out of any lingering speculation on her future. “You just got a clean bill of health! Ad meah v’esrim!”

“No.” She turned to me with a smile in her eyes. “How long will this feeling last, of appreciating every second of Hashem’s world? Ad meah v’esrim?”

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 640)

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