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| Light Years Away |

Light Years Away: Chapter 10

   “You know that the more a girl matures, the more independent she gets, the harder it is for her to find a shidduch. She gets more opinions. And ideas"

 

 

With Gedalya, it’s easy to argue. He’s opinionated, he’s rigid, he ends sentences with exclamation points and is generally sure he’s right. He’s also accustomed to laying down the law, thanks to his job at the newspaper. It makes no difference how much money and effort the advertiser invested, or how much the writer cries. Truth must prevail. It’s easy to argue with a brother like that, to tell him he’s wrong and offer counterarguments.

But who can argue with Yoely?

“It’s good that Ima’s baking cakes,” he says to Nechami in his pleasant, melodious voice, “isn’t it?”

“Cakes are always a good thing,” she answers as she hunts for the blue suitcase in the big closet in their parents’ house. Her own suitcase is being repaired.

“What I mean is,” he explains, “when the time comes, they’ll be able to make a l’chayim and settle things right away…. I think it’s best that there shouldn’t be any delay.”

All the alleys of Tzfas echo in his voice, slow, magical, and ancient. With Yoely, everything is “don’t you think?” or “It seems to me,” or “What do you say?” — completely noncombative, the furthest thing from aggressive.

“I think we need to let Chaya take her time,” Nechami says. “She should think about what she wants in life, and not rush to get her engaged.”

Here’s the suitcase. Nechami pulls it out from under a pile of coats. She checks the wheels.

Yoely reasons with her. “I hear”—such a diplomat!—“but you can look at it differently,” he says. “You know that the more a girl matures, the more independent she gets, the harder it is for her to find a shidduch. She gets more opinions. And ideas. And she might make bad decisions.”

“That’s true to a certain extent,” Nechami has to admit. She got engaged at 18.

“And especially if a girl starts drifting toward people that are a little more open.” Yoely is so mellow that you can’t fight with him. His very mellowness means you have no excuse to raise your voice. “When there’s a family and kids, you’ve got an anchor. It’s much harder for singles.”

“Everything you’re saying is true.” Nechami closes the suitcase. She wheels it to the door of the room. “But it’s still not a reason to push a girl into an engagement when she’s not sure what she’s looking for.” Do you really want to see her resentful, angry, feeling like she’s been coerced? Or something worse?

Excerpted from Mishpacha Magazine. To view full version, SUBSCRIBE FOR FREE or LOG IN.

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