I’m not the only one who thinks their life is stressful — my eight-year-old thinks his is, too. He hates English, has to go to bed too early, and his class didn’t get the basketball court at recess. Makes work and bills and laundry and ear infections shrink in comparison.

Son reacts to eight-year-old stressors with typical eight-year-old coping mechanisms: by falling apart, freaking out, or fighting. Within 20 minutes of getting home from school, he’s complaining about supper, fighting with his sister, or ranting about his homework.

I understand him. His day is long, he’s tired, and he spends most of his life doing things that people other than himself think are important. Anger is a de-stressor. But it was becoming very wearying for me to go through this day after day after day: have him come home, fall apart, send him to his room to calm down. There had to be a better way.

One day, in as calm a voice as I could muster, I told him this couldn’t continue. “I know you hate English,” I said sympathetically. “And I know you hate the bus ride. You come home hungry and thirsty and tired. But it’s just not appropriate to behave this way. You need to find an activity that will help you calm down when you get home. I can you give you a snack — you just tell me what you want to eat.  Then tell me what activity will calm you down, and I’ll get you what you need.”

Wishful thinking! howled my inner critic. He’s eight! He’s not interested in your fancy educational approaches!

Son did, in fact, look mutinous. I quailed, but there was nowhere to run. “Let’s think,” I encouraged. “Do you want to read? Do you want to do Sudoku? Do you want to eat something?”

“I want a pomegranate,” he announced.

So, this wasn’t exactly what I had had in mind. I had been thinking more along the lines of, you know, a banana and a book, or even cookies and milk. But I said cheerily, “Okay, no problem. Tomorrow, when you come home from school, I’ll have a pomegranate for you.”

Random factoid: In New Jersey in January, you can get delicious pomegranates for the low price of $3 each. Which is a bargain, right? Because you’re teaching your son an important skill that will carry your child through the rest of his life. (Also, therapy is much more expensive than pomegranates.)

(Excerpted from Family First, Issue 624)