“We always celebrate birthdays, but we don’t overdo it. It’s all about getting together, learning something, making a hachlatah, making a l’chayim, making a shehecheyanu”

Do you give birthday presents?

 I don’t do birthday parties for my kids (except if it’s a special milestone birthday), but I do  make sure to give my kids really good presents each birthday. I spend about $100 per kid on their birthday and buy around four or five presents that I know they’ll love, as opposed to one big gift. I also get my parents birthday gifts. For my siblings, it depends — for example, once there was a concert right around my sister’s birthday and I knew she’d love it, so I bought her a ticket, but I don’t usually do that. For friends, I’m happy to take them out.

—Baily W.

I’m not good at this, and barely manage with my kids, though I will make a nice dinner and a cake for their birthdays. I do try for my parents because I realize it means a lot to them at their age. Otherwise, at least I’m consistent; I’m not singling anyone out here! I hope no one judges me, it’s just that life is so busy and it’s hard keeping up with family, though I do wish I was a little better in this area….

My husband and I both have mutually agreed not to get each other birthday presents. But if there’s something I know he wants, I’ll try to get it for him, or I’ll pick up a pastry he likes. I try to always be thoughtful, instead of just doing one big shebang one day a year.

—Yechiel and Shifra Jacobson

I give to my husband and kids, and parents and in-laws, but not siblings and friends. The cost varies depending on age, and if it’s a milestone. I’d say I spend approximately $30 to $50, and maybe about $15 for the younger kids. For my spouse I’ll spend up to $100.

—Boruch and Shira Berger

Sometimes. It depends how we’re doing financially at the time, depends on the relationship, depends on what’s going on at the time in my life and their life. I always give my spouse, but it’s usually something inexpensive, and also my kids, up to about $50. For parents and in-laws, I’m more likely to pitch in with siblings and get something special or bigger, up to $100. For friends I may get chocolate, a keychain, a book, or just treat them to coffee, or just take them out for coffee and it’s my treat, because it’s their special day.

—Miriam Y.

We always celebrate birthdays, but we don’t overdo it. It’s all about getting together, learning something, making a hachlatah, making a l’chayim, making a shehecheyanu. Gifts are a fun part of that; I usually get the boys a sefer and the girls something cute. It’s not a lot of money. When the kids were younger, I’d sometimes take them out bowling or to an art gallery in honor of their birthdays. It’s about the connection more than the gifts.

—Dassie Steinberg

My husband and I usually give each other cards, unless there’s something that I know he particularly wants, and then I’ll buy it for him. It’s usually a sefer.

As for our parents, when we went for Yom Tov, we would always bring a present in the $100 range. Now we’ll chip in for a big birthday or anniversary present. We don’t give birthday gifts to our siblings or friends.

My kids don’t really get birthday presents. The Shabbos of their birthday, we decorate a cake in any shape/design they want. We also buy balloons (as old as they are) and paper goods from the dollar store, and invite the neighbors or cousins for Shabbos party.

They do get Chanukah presents, afikomen presents, and graduation presents. The average present is around $100. Before every Yom Tov they can each choose their own new book.

—Heshy and Chanie Michaels

I’m a huge gift person and I for sure do gifts for spouse and kids, often parents/in-laws (especially for  anniversaries), but usually that’s for a big number like a 60th, or a milestone like that. Sometimes just a note will do the trick, or an outing, something experiential.

I also do tons of thank you gifts, including for teachers. Price range depends if it’s a group thing or how close I feel to them — there are a few factors. I can often find really fun, original gifts for $10 or $20. I wouldn’t spend more than that unless it was for a spouse or a group gift.

—Ahuva Cohen

We’re not huge on gifts. I’ve gotten my husband one or two amazing gifts that he’s loved, but mostly he doesn’t want anything and would rather I don’t get him anything. He has also gotten me a few incredible gifts on milestones, but mostly we just go out to eat and are happy with that. Sometimes we’ll gift ourselves with an experience together, like a concert or a weekend away.

We do get our kids something small for their birthdays. We don’t really get siblings, parents, or friends gifts regularly, but if I find something meaningful I think a parent or sibling would love, we’ll get it as a one-off. Price range for kid gifts would be $25-ish, for adult gifts it’s a few hundred.

—Brachi Silver

We give to my parents and in-laws. For my wife’s birthday, I usually give her something small, flowers, a small piece of jewelry, a card. Sometimes we do a small family trip to explore something new in the area in honor of a birthday. The kids get a good amount of presents regularly, though. On top of birthday presents, we’re always trading in the nosh they get at school, creating charts, and buying prizes worth probably thousands of dollars a year because we don’t want them to get too hyper from all that junk food. For birthday presents we usually spend between $10 and $125/per kid per regular birthday. And it’s just a dollhouse, Lego set, ride-on horse — but those things are a fortune these days.

—Chaim Stein

I give to my wife and also to good friends. I’ll spend between $20 and $100 on a present.

—Abe R.

Yes, but how much I spend depends on how old they’re turning. For my wife and kids, depending on the age/if it’s an important birthday, I would spend between $100 and $5,000.

—Elimelech Blum