COVID overturned our lives. While most changes were temporary, ten women share the changes they want to keep 

Meet the Interviewees

Leah, age 25

Far Rockaway, NY

Playgroup Teacher

Shaindy, age 58

Woodmere, NY

Personal Trainer

Esther, age 38

Brooklyn, NY

Artist

Yonit, age 30

Columbus, OH

Elementary School Teacher

Naomi, age 31

London, England

Occupational Therapist

Sarah, age 44

Jerusalem, Israel

Seminary Administrator

Chaya, age 40

Lakewood, NJ

Computer Programmer

Yael, age 61

Maalei Adumim, Israel

Metapelet (Caretaker) and Life Coach

Rachel, age 30

Phoenix, AZ

High School Teacher and Director of Student Activities

Dina, age 31

Jerusalem, Israel

Accountant

Marriage

Leah: My husband sometimes felt that I prioritized other things over him. The reduced work responsibilities gave me the headspace to examine this. I read a book on marriage which shifted my perspective and taught me how to show my husband how much I value him. We are closer now, and once we leave the “quarantine bubble,” I’ll be better able to keep my focus on him.

Sarah: I’m more of the day-to-day manager, and my husband is more of the crisis controller, so when COVID-19 hit, he really supported me and the family with a calm head and a lot of emunah. We didn’t do was the usual relationship stuff like going out. We spent more time and energy on parenting and managing our seminary and less time on our marriage. We have a very secure relationship, though, so we knew we could weather this storm. When the pressure subsides, I want to make sure we go back to nurturing our relationship, which is what keeps us as strong as we are.

Yonit: Since corona hit, I’ve been able to spend more time at home with my husband than I have in our past ten years of marriage. We now joke that we should both find stay-at-home jobs. The overall level of anxiety in the household greatly decreased, as I’m a natural homebody, and I loved not having to run to work, events, and errands, and enjoyed having my husband at my side. A simple, slower life really does feel better, and I’m going to look for ways to keep things balanced with more family downtime and less running around.

Dina: My marriage has had its ups and downs over the years, and we’ve worked hard to come to where we are today. When the lockdown started, I was worried that the increased time together and surge of responsibilities would be too much for both of us to handle. I was pleasantly surprised at how little we fought. Most issues seemed insignificant in the context of a world pandemic. Still, there were some awful moments. They made me take a step back and ask myself if our marriage needs help. After a few years’ break from therapy, I’ve finally found a therapist who’s helping me better understand myself and my marriage. It’s one of the best investments I’ve ever made in our home.

Shaindy: My husband and I were home alone for Shabbosim, the Seder, and Yom Tov this year, which was really nice. We spent a lot more quality time together than usual. Baruch Hashem, we’re involved with communal needs and surrounded by wonderful family members so it’s not so easy to spend time together, but we’re going to try to keep it going.

Naomi: My heart goes out to those who struggled with their marriages at this time, and I feel blessed that that wasn’t the case for us. We managed to fill the roles of teacher and cleaning lady in addition to our regular responsibilities, and we learned that we can do anything together. I believe the key has been limiting our expectations (of each other, the kids, cleanliness of the house). We feel grateful to have had the experience of seeing that with Hashem’s help we can come out stronger when things don’t go as planned. Knowing this will give me the chizuk to deal with future challenges.