Familiarity Breeds Contempt
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P arshas Acharei Mos–Kedoshim
“He should not come at all times into the Kodesh… so that he shouldn’t die…” (Vayikra 16:2)
Rashi explains that because the Shechinah is revealed there Aharon shouldn’t get accustomed to going there.
Habit is the greatest enemy of holiness. When a person reaches an elevated level and his soul is glowing with sparks of holy fire familiarity puts out the coals one by one until the fire is extinguished.
The Tosefta (Parah perek beis) comments that even Aharon who went into the Kodesh Hakodoshim for seven days in complete holy seclusion was at risk of getting too accustomed to coming and going in the Kodesh.
Similarly Yechezkel Hanavi (46:9) instructed those who went up to the Beis Hamikdash for aliyah l’regel not to enter and leave through the same gate. The Yaavetz in his peirush on Pirkei Avos (1:4) explains that Hashem doesn’t want a person to reach a state in which he considers the holy gates comparable to the gate of his own house.
It’s the nature of a person to loathe the familiar… This was the middah that caused the sin of the Eigel. Since the ohel was among them in the camp it became contemptible in their eyes and they said “Let’s make for ourselves a god.” (Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz Sichos Mussar)
A couple of years ago my husband was flipping through the mail sorting as he went. Bills. Bills. Junk.
“Hey guess what?” He held up an envelope. “We’re entitled to a free hotel night from Citicard.”
“Nice.” I barely looked up from the dishes. “Do we have to go to Hong Kong to redeem?”
“No seriously. It can be used at any Hilton hotel in Israel including...” He paused knowing he had caught my attention. “...the Waldorf.”
The Waldorf Astoria had recently opened in Jerusalem amid grand fanfare and press coverage. I’d seen photos and advertisements and I was more than ready to spend a night there — gratis.
As we walked into the lobby with its distinctive glass art and spilling waterfalls I felt myself relaxing. Our personal concierge met us at the reception desk and whisked us away to our room. We were offered free drinks on the terrace overlooking the Old City at dusk.
That night I sank into the deep pillows luxuriating in the promise of a full night of uninterrupted sleep.
The next morning I practically sang my way through the complimentary breakfast.
“You know what?” I said over frothy cappuccino and crispy croissants. “I could get used to living in the lap of luxury.”
This is not only talking about spiritual things; even natural preferences get worn out from habit. Shlomo Hamelech says in Mishlei (25:17): “Let your foot be seldom in your friend’s house lest he become satiated with you and hate you.”
Even a good friend is at risk of becoming an enemy from too much familiarity. (ibid.)
A few months ago my husband was flipping through the mail again. “Hey guess what? We’re entitled to another free night in the Waldorf!”
“Terrific!” Memories of luxurious bliss arose and I jumped at the offer.
As we entered the lobby I breathed a sigh of contentment. This was exactly what I needed right now and I was going to live it up.
Yeshayahu Hanavi (29:13) describes Bnei Yisrael’s service to Hashem: “With their mouth and with their lips they honor Me but their heart they draw far away from Me; their fear of Me has become a mitzvah learned by rote.”
Our mouths and lips are smart; they can do the actions by rote. But the emotion and enthusiasm disappear all too quickly with mindless repetition.
The main part of a person’s task is to revitalize his emotions and heart so he maintains renewal in his avodas Hashem. (ibid.)
Our room was identical to the previous one so it wasn’t as much fun to play with the digital lighting or fiddle with the minibar. We weren’t offered free drinks this visit and although the pillows were just as soft I didn’t snuggle quite as deeply this time around.
And the next morning over breakfast I was frustrated to find that they didn’t have whipped cream for my cappuccino.
I guess I got used to living in the lap of luxury. (Originally featured in Family First Issue 540)
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