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Whenever I asked about their childhoods, my siblings gave me a “you had to be there” look. But on Purim I could pretend I knew something about it

 I would not date her here or there. I would not date her anywhere

Good Mommy coaches her children to use magic words. Bad Mommy trains her children to be mindless, insincere automatons 

Ohhhhh boy. Bribery at its best. I slip on the bracelet, refusing to allow it to feel like a very trendy handcuff

My struggles are real, and my history doesn’t invalidate them

“I didn’t eat nuts! I ate a salad! Who puts nuts in salad?”