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Parallels and Perspective

Stick a pin in the phonebook. See where it lands. Make the call. Does everyone have a story? Five writers find out

Perspective is real, did you know that? The whole glass-half-full, half-empty bit — people really do see the same things differently.

How did I come to this rather basic but profound revelation? I spoke to Mimi Gardenswartz. We both live in Passaic, neither of us native to the semi-urban landscape, and while we both have an abiding love for our chosen community, how we got here, and the way we view it, stand in polar opposition.

Mimi was my pin-in-phonebook test subject. Sort of. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to stick a pin through the pages. Does everyone else own super-strength pins, and have the muscle power to push one through?

I took my dog-eared Passaic telephone book, known colloquially as “the book,” raised it high above my head, and let it splat open to the floor of my kids’ bedroom. Then I picked it up to the open page, closed my eyes, and pointed.

For integrity’s sake, not only did I not use a pin, but Mimi was not the first person I called. The first person I called was eager, willing, and able to be interviewed — until she told her family. They weren’t comfortable with the story sharing.

She has a daughter in shidduchim, so I can’t grumble too much about family getting in the way of a good story. Because like it or not, frum society often punishes honesty when it comes to shidduchim.

 

Excerpted from Mishpacha Magazine. To view full version, SUBSCRIBE FOR FREE or LOG IN.

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