Yechiel came off the bus… different. He dragged his feet, looking sad and forlorn

As told to Raizy Friedman

I was expecting my fourth child, and one of my biggest worries was where my eight-year-old would spend the week after I gave birth.

It had been a long and tiring pregnancy, and I was very much hoping to go to a convalescent home to rest up once the baby was born. But my husband was busy with peak season at work, I hardly had any extended family living close by, and I didn’t usually take my friends’ children when they had babies, so I felt bad asking friends to take mine.

My youngest at the time was four, but I wasn’t concerned about her. Her kindergarten teacher had offered to take her months before, and I was comfortable with the arrangement. My ten-year-old would stay at the neighbor’s house every day until my husband would come home with takeout supper.

Which left Yechiel, my eight-year-old son, who had been diagnosed with severe ADD. He was in a special school, with great therapists, and his medication helped regulate him on a day-to-day basis. A new baby would be require a lot of adjusting on his part, but first, I’d need time to recover. Which is why I spent the weeks before birth worrying about where I could place Yechiel after the baby was born.

My options were pretty limited. The only people I could think of who might do it were my sister-in-law who lived close by but had her own two-month-old baby, or a neighbor I wasn’t very close to — not a very inviting prospect. I procrastinated asking either one; it just didn’t feel appropriate.

My little angel was born three weeks before her due date, and I still hadn’t made arrangements for Yechiel. Hours after delivery, I bit my lip nervously, fingers hovering over the keypad, trying to will up the courage to call. The baby wailed in the bassinet near my bed, and I felt like wailing along. The phone rang.

“Ruchy, mazel tov!” My sister Liba’s voice was a beam of sunshine.

“Thanks,” I said shortly.

My voice must have revealed my mood.

“What’s up? Everything okay with the baby?”

“The baby’s fine. Adorable. It’s Yechiel I’m worried about.”