Out of Step: Chapter 19
| January 22, 2020Naftoli’s eyes are hard, he looks angrier than I’ve ever seen him, and I’m kind of scared to move
Being out of school isn’t as fun as one would think. Firstly, there’s the boredom. Sleeping all day kind of loses its appeal after the first 48 hours, and besides, my house is noisy.
I also haven’t been this inactive since I was two. Literally. Started ballet at three and haven’t stopped moving until, well, now. So I think I’m excused for going a bit stir- crazy.
“But it’s only been three days,” Naftoli points out helpfully. I make a face at him; he returns it with gusto.
“How do you do it?” I ask. Okay, it’s a low blow, but he’s really not being helpful.
He’s quiet for a minute then clears his throat. “I guess I make myself a routine. You know, get up at a certain hour, dress, daven, learn, lunch, and so on. Plus… I remind myself that it’s only temporary.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, but it’s been a month. Like, maybe it’s time to take action?”
Naftoli puts his mug of hot chocolate down hard; it sloshes over the side and begins to run over the table edge in little brown rivulets.
I make no move to clean it up; Naftoli’s eyes are hard, he looks angrier than I’ve ever seen him, and I’m kind of scared to move.
“And do what, Bella? Tell the hanhalah who the real cheater is? Lose a friend and my integrity in one? Or lie, and say that it was really me, that I really am a cheater, just so I can apologize and return to yeshivah? What exactly are my options? Because I lay awake almost every night trying to figure them out and that’s all I’ve got.”
Poor guy. I honestly hadn’t given much thought to how he’s been perceiving all this; I’ve been so busy being angry at his yeshivah for suspending him.
“You’re right,” I say, trying to soften my voice. “You’re in a terrible position. I’m... I’m really sorry, Tuls.”
He nods and picks up his mug again, knuckles white.
“But maybe…” I trail off hesitantly and stretch my foot out. Uch, this cast is itchy, it’s bulky, and I hate it.
He raises his eyebrows.
“Maybe you can try to talk to the boy? The one who cheated? Maybe get him to see your position? Maybe convince him to do the right thing?”
Naftoli just shakes his head.
Well, I tried. I smile weakly, grab my crutches, and hobble off to ask Ma what to do about the itching. I leave the puddle on the table; I’m done trying to clean up Naftoli’s messes. At least for today.
***
“Mmmmm.” I drink deeply from my Dolce milkshake, swirling the straw around the cup so I get every vestige of caramel and chocolate. Goldie giggles at my obvious bliss.
“You,” she says, “are a very fun person to buy treats for.”
I flutter my eyelashes. “Feel free to do it more often.”
She nods solemnly. “Duly noted.”
I put the shake on my nightstand and stretch my arms over my head; twisting my neck, I release a crick in it.
“So, tell me again about the wedding of the year.”
Goldie bounces on the bed and hugs a throw pillow. “Ohmygosh, ’kay, so it’s in a month and I’m still not sure about the gown. All my sisters are basically wearing navy, so is my mom, but it’s just so not me. And they know that, the kallah’s fine with me doing my own thing and my brother couldn’t care less, obviously. Here, I brought it to show you.”
She passes me a large Nordstrom bag; I finger the satiny handles, enjoying the coolness against my skin, and then pull the gown out.
“Whoa.”
The dress is teal; no, turquoise; no blue — the color is changing before my eyes. I blink and shut my mouth with a snap.
“Goldie….” I breathe.
“I know,” she breathes next to me.
We just stare at it for a minute.
“So, what are you doing about the neckline?” I ask, breaking the spell.
She bounces on the bed again. “That’s the best part. Nordstrom said they have extra material they can order for me!”
“Wow….”
I stare at the dress. It’s breathtaking, but….
“You know what might look good?” I say, fingering the material. “A stiff, sleek peplum, like right here.”
I point to the waist. “You know, if there’s extra after the neckline.”
Goldie squints, silent.
I blush. “’Kay, it was stupid, sorry, don’t even listen to me — what?”
Goldie is staring at me like she’s never seen me before.
“Bella Rena. That is an absolutely brilliant idea. Where, what, how did you come up with that?”
Okay, overreact much?
I stretch my arms again; I’m stiff all over. What I need is a warmup. And then maybe a ballet class or two.
“Uh, I just looked at the gown and thought it can just use a tiny bit more…”
“Hmmm.”
Goldie gets down from the bed, takes the gown lovingly from my arms and tucks it back into the bag.
“Well, I’d better go save your brothers from Effie. Or, you know, vice versa.”
We snicker.
“Anyway, hon, feel good. You look great, love the one Ugg look.”
I stick my tongue out at her and then lean in for a hug.
“Thanks for visiting,” I say, settling back onto the bed and picking up a book from the bedside. “And thanks for the shake.”
She smiles and leaves, and then sticks her head back in.
“Bella… you have a real eye for clothing design. Did you know that?”
And then she’s gone.
I shake my head, smiling, and then bury myself in my book. Clothing design… I’m a dancer. Always was, always will be.
(Originally featured in Mishpacha Jr., Issue 795)
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