When a parent appears visibly older, wiser, and more experienced, his words make an impression on the younger generation

“And Avraham was old, advanced in days…” (Bereishis 24:1).

The Yalkut Shimoni relates that Avraham asked Hashem to create visible signs of aging. He said, “When my son and I enter a place together, nobody knows who is older!”

Hashem answered, “This is a good thing you’re asking for. Signs of old age will begin with you.” (Adapted from the Lekach Tov)

My boys love the zoo, so we spend a lot of time there. A few years ago, we were lucky enough to visit the day a baby giraffe was born. We headed immediately to the giraffe enclosure to watch the newborn animal — just hours old — as it learned to stand. Onlookers thronged the fence as the zoo staff circulated, explaining pertinent details about giraffes and their offspring.

The human observers were much more interested in Baby Giraffe’s progress than his family was. There was no Daddy Giraffe passing out cigars, no Mommy Giraffe videoing Baby’s first few steps. In fact, besides the relatively small height of this newborn, (although he was already six feet tall!), he looked like a full-grown giraffe, albeit the next generation.

It only took another hour or so until Baby mastered the skill of standing on his spindly legs, to the cheers of all his fans, my boys included.

There were two changes made in the nature of mankind after Yitzchak was born. Until Yitzchak’s birth, babies were born fully grown, standing and walking immediately after birth. Yitzchak was the first baby who was born as a helpless creation that developed slowly.

The second change was that until Avraham requested that there be visible signs of old age, people remained youthful looking until they died.

I thought of this gangly baby as I watched my grandson weave a bit unsteadily as he took his first few steps to the cheers of his adoring uncles. He’s an acrobat, this one, and I had no doubt he’d soon be running circles around all of us.

“Mommy!” Yitzi bounced up and down watching the excitement. “Do you wish you were young again and the Mommy instead of the Savta?”

Thank you, kiddo. You know just which buttons to push to instigate a full-blown midlife crisis. But as I snuggled him against me, I realized that the answer to his question had shifted over the years.

These two changes were necessary because Yitzchak was the first child born into a home where he received chinuch in Torah and mitzvos. To help children accept their father’s mussar with love and humility, they are born completely dependent on their parents and remain that way for many years. When a child is accustomed to trusting his parents for all his needs and looking to them for help, he’s readily prepared to accept his parents’ education and rebuke in the areas of Torah and mitzvos.

Aging also assists the process of chinuch. When a parent appears visibly older, wiser, and more experienced, his words make an impression on the younger generation. As it says in Ha’azinu (32:7): “Remember the days of old… Ask your father, and he will tell you; your elders, and they will inform you.”

Do I wish I were young again? Surprisingly, no. A bit more youthful energy wouldn’t be amiss. And I could do without the cheater glasses.

But do I want to go back to the days Yitzi suggested? Back to the days when I had several small toddlers, or even further back when I was single… back to high school?

Nope, Yitzi, sorry. Despite your inability to fathom the enormity of my age, I have no interest in changing it. No desire to go back to the years of finding myself, running in circles while struggling to prioritize, juggling zillions of balls and watching them fall. No, thank you. But I’ll accept your comments about my advanced age if that means you recognize the hard-earned wisdom that comes with it.

My grandson overestimated his ability and lost his balance, landing on the floor. The look of surprise on his face was precious. I hugged Yitzi tighter as we laughed together. I’m quite content to be the Grandma Giraffe.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 668)