The camera is incapable of capturing this spiritual appeal

“…Now I know that you are a beautiful woman.” (Bereishis 12:1)

Due to a famine in Canaan, Avraham and Sarah traveled to Egypt. On the way, Avraham saw Sarah’s reflection in a river and became aware of her beauty, fearing the Egyptians would kill him and take Sarah. Why was Avraham unaware of Sarah’s beauty until now?

Rashi explains that due to his tremendous personal modesty, Avraham had never looked at Sarah before now, and was oblivious to her good looks.

The Maharsha (Bava Basra 16a) points out that this is difficult to understand, as the Gemara (Kiddushin 41a) rules that it’s forbidden for a man to marry a woman until he has looked at her, and Avraham observed the entire Torah even before it was given. If so, how had he married Sarah without looking at her? (Rabbi Ozer Alport, Parshah Potpourri)

“Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the youngest-looking of them all?”

“I am,” snickered my mirror. “You hung me up eight years ago. While you, kiddo… well let’s just say you’ve got way more than eight years under that skin.”

I don’t know about anyone else, but my mirror has become ruder every year. First it shows me all these fine lines that seem to be exploding across my face. Next it points out a solitary white hair that escaped from my tichel — all the more reason to be extremely machmir that all hair is covered. My mirror has been known to bewail the exhaustion bags under my eyes, and the fact that the lines between my eyebrows keep getting deeper. It’s time to buy a new mirror. But that’ll make it even more young than me. Can’t win in this aging business.

Rav Mordechai Jofen and Rav Nissan Kaplan suggest that Avraham certainly fulfilled the Gemara’s requirement to look at Sarah at the time of their marriage, and he was well aware that she was beautiful. If so, what prompted his reaction here?

Although Avraham recognized his wife’s pulchritude at the time of their marriage, he believed it emanated from her sublime spiritual purity. Thus, he wasn’t worried about the Egyptians attempting to take Sarah, because he assumed they’d view her through their crude physical lenses, and not appreciate her true inner splendor. However, as they approached the border, Avraham noticed Sarah’s reflection in the water, which mirrors only the external, and is incapable of capturing inner spiritual beauty.

When Avraham saw that Sarah’s beauty remained unchanged when reflected in the water, he realized that she also possessed great physical beauty, and therefore grew concerned that the Egyptians would be interested in taking her.

I wish I could create an invention that would transform my mirror into a subliminal spiritual reflection. The lines by my eyes? They’re a sign that I laugh a lot. And while I may have worry lines between my eyes, I like to think they’re from all the worry I have for Klal Yisrael in tzarah. I want this mirror to notice that my eyes are soft because I’m very empathetic. And to comment that my mouth has a tendency to slide upward into a smile much more often than a frown.

Extending this insight, Rav Jofen and Rav Kaplan suggest that when people insist upon seeing a picture of a prospective shidduch, it’s counterproductive. There are many young men and women who radiate an inner spiritual purity when seen in real life. But like the water, the camera is incapable of capturing this appeal. This often leads to rejection of potentially suitable marriage partners to whom they could’ve felt attracted if they’d only given themselves the opportunity to meet in real life, instead of emulating the Egyptians by focusing solely on external appearances.

I think I’ll even market my idea for free because everyone can benefit from an honest assessment of their spiritual holdings. It’ll be user-friendly. Just say to your mirror.

“Mirror mirror, time for direction,

“What sense do you make of this reflection?”

When I tried myself, my mirror answered: “It’s funny, and calm, wise with introspection,

It’s a face that’s comfortable in contemplation.

A face that may show signs of years,

But one that faced them without fears.

I’m not talking about dishonest youth,

I’m a mirror that tells the spiritual truth!”

(I can be reached through Mishpacha for bulk orders.)

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 966)