The Mesillas Yesharim says that the yetzer hara employs Pharaoh’s plan on a daily basis

Moshe related Hashem’s message to Bnei Yisrael, but they didn’t listen to Moshe, because of their shortness of spirit and hard work. (Shemos 6:9)

We’d expect that the harder a nation’s working and suffering, the more anxious they’d be to be redeemed. Why didn’t the Jews listen to Moshe? (Rabbi Dov Shapiro)

Headspace. My brain’s hard drive is full. These past few months have been a whirlwind. One of my daughters gave birth and moved in with us for a while. Then we made a bar mitzvah. Baruch Hashem for simchahs! Plus, there were the regular challenges of life, which may not be as fun as simchahs, but are integral to our growth.

I’m also going to America soon to visit my mother, and by the time I get back it’ll be close to Purim and Pesach. (Perhaps I shouldn’t say those “P” words?)

The Seforno comments that the Jews were unable to focus on what Moshe was saying because they were too busy working hard.

The Mesillas Yesharim explains that a person becomes so busy with what he’s doing, he loses the ability to focus and process new information even if it’s critical and relevant.

Pharaoh understood human psychology. The core of his strategy in enslaving the Jews was to keep them so busy they’d have no time to contemplate how to rebel against him. His plan was working well.

So I’ve been having a hard time with headspace, grappling with simple things that were taxing my already overworked brain.

One day I sat down with my landline to call one of my daughters, and suddenly I couldn’t remember her number. It’s on speed dial on my cell phone, but this phone didn’t have it. How could I not remember a number I dial numerous times a week?

Another example. When I do my daily exercise, I count sets backward from 100 to zero. Except lately, I keep losing track of where I am up to. Help.

The situation’s getting me uneasy. I’m not losing my mind, I comfort myself. I have too much on my mind to lose it!

The Mesillas Yesharim says that the yetzer hara employs Pharaoh’s plan on a daily basis. The yetzer hara doesn’t simply create challenging temptations. His plan is to make our lives so busy that we feel it’s an accomplishment just to survive each day. We need to defeat the yetzer hara by stopping and thinking where we are, where we’d like to end up, and how we’re going to get there.

Then came a random Monday that totally threw me. I sat down at my computer to write. Generally, when I write creatively, I close my eyes and touch-type. I wrote several paragraphs, then opened my eyes to read and assess. Imagine my confusion when I saw several typos where I put in the letter z instead of y!

I stared at my keyboard. I know where the y is. I’m not losing my mind. I softly typed a y. A z appeared. Then I typed a z, and a y appeared on the screen.

If I’d been in a calmer state of mind in my life at that time, I would’ve laughed and gone on. Because why would I forget the placement of only y and z? Everything else was typed correctly!

But with my current overloaded brain, I was now blinking in confusion, sure I’d forgotten where the y and the z really are!

It starts like this, said an ominous voice in my head. I didn’t want to address exactly what it was. But I felt poised on the cusp of a cliff about to start tumbling into… it.

Grasping at straws, I closed my computer, waited, then rebooted. I opened a document and typed a y. Again a z appeared. In panic, I closed the computer and decided laundry was much safer. I could put up a dark load in my sleep. Couldn’t I?

To make a long story short, I’m not losing my mind (yet). Apparently, there’s a keyboard called QUERTZ, used in German-speaking countries, that resembles the standard US keyboard, except for the placement of y and z! For some odd reason, my computer decided that Monday was German-keyboard day!

At least it should have issued a warning. As in: The surgeon general has determined that typing on this Monday morning is not an indication of your mental acuity.

Ugh. I think I need to take a break, go in search of myself. Have you seen me anywhere?

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 928)