M OTHER: I used to get this pit in my stomach when I knew Mordy wouldn’t like supper. Now I feel empowered that I can direct him to Plan B.

FATHER: I’m a Plan A kind of guy and Mordy’s therapy is Plan B for me that’s for sure.

MORDY: Something is better than nothing but I’d much rather have things go my way.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“A businessman ” Mordy says immediately. “Like my father.”

“That’s great ” I say casually handing him a rubber band. “Flexibility is an important skill for a businessman. They’re constantly coming up with Plan B.”

Visual and tactile aids help concretize the concepts we’re exploring in therapy.

Mordy looks puzzled. “Plan B ” I clarify “is used when Plan A doesn’t work out. Do you like chocolate chip cookies?”

Mordy looks wary at this change of topic. “I guess.”

“There’s a legend that chocolate chip cookies were invented by accident. A woman who ran a restaurant was trying to make chocolate cookies but she ran out of cocoa. Instead of getting stuck on her Plan A she created Plan B. She broke up a chocolate bar into bits and mixed them in. Everyone loved the new cookies and that’s how the chocolate chip cookie was born!” I pause to let him absorb the story. “What would have happened if she’d have gotten stuck on her Plan A?”

“She couldn’t have made the cookies.”

“What do you think is better? To have no cookies or to have Plan B cookies?” I wink. “Personally I always think any cookies are better than no cookies!”

I hand Mordy a newspaper clipping. “If you’re interested in business you’ll like this.” It’s an article on the rise and fall of Kodak. When he’s done reading I ask “Why did their business fail?”

“No one was buying film anymore.”

“That’s right. Film was their Plan A. What kind of Plan B could they have created?” I wait but Mordy doesn’t answer.

Here again we see Mordy’s rigidity. Flexible thinking and problem-solving are new skills for Mordy and like all new skills need lots of practice.

“What about digital cameras? That could have been a pretty good Plan B. But they got stuck on their Plan A. Is it better to have Plan B or go out of business?”

Mordy seems to struggle then says “But they didn’t want to sell digital cameras!”

Simple phrases can act as buzzwords to help redirect the child in the moment.

“I know. It’s hard to let go of Plan A. But if you always insist on it sometimes you’ll get nothing. If you can create a Plan B you have the chance to get some of what you want. Which is better?”

At the end of our session I review our work with Mordy’s mother. “Use the term ‘Plan B’ as a cue ” I advise.

Rigid kids who employ black-and-white thinking rarely “get” humor which relies on multiple meanings for a single word.

“Let’s say he wants to visit Yossi but Yossi’s not available. What happens?”

“He gets stuck ” Mrs. Kavenberg replies. “He can’t move on.”

“So when you see him getting stuck say to him ‘Yossi’s not available. What’s Plan B?’ Those words can serve as his cue and redirect him.”

When Mordy leaves I wish him a good week. “Make it as great as it can ‘B’!” I joke. Mrs. Kavenberg chuckles but I can see Mordy doesn’t get it.

Hmmm… (Originally featured in Family First Issue 539)