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Frozen Assets

By Yael Zoldan | November 21, 2018

Look, there are all kinds of categories in this world, and people are always trying to fit other people into various boxes. I certainly don’t want to get involved in any of that. Far be it from me to try to classify other women. Greater minds than mine have grappled with the differences between people and come up with categories that sound absolutely black and white.

I think that’s a lot of foolishness, since we’re basically all the same. People are people, you know? But at the end of the day, I think we can all agree that there are, in fact, two kinds of people in this world.

People who cook in advance and freeze, and people who don’t.

Now that this truth is on the table, let me just say that I don’t want to get into the stale, old argument you hear whenever three women meet before any Yom Tov: Is fresh best or does freezing keep you sane? Some of you claim that you can smell freezer burn from inside your living room and even your ice cubes should be fresh frozen each day. Others put cereal, potatoes, and canned goods in their freezer, just in case.

I don’t want to get into it because I don’t want to be involved in machlokes. And also because the truth is obvious — it’s much better to have your freezer stocked than not. Each silver foil package is worth its weight in peace of mind. But hey, everyone is entitled to their opinion even if they’re completely wrong. Right?

So that’s settled.

Now we can move on to how we handle the situation when the freezer is so stuffed that there’s no longer room for air to circulate and you’re forced to shout, “Everybody OUT!!!” every time you open the door because you fear death by avalanche. And you’re a mother so you’re a martyr. If it all falls, it will take you down, but you won’t let it take the kids with you. After all, everyone knows that motherhood means a lifetime of shielding your children with your own body from unidentifiable silver-foil-wrapped projectiles. That’s basically the job description.

My husband suggested that we throw out some of the ice cream cartons. WORST. IDEA. EVER!!

I’m not going to spend any more time thinking about that because:

It’s a miserable idea and
It’s bad for shalom bayis

Moving on. It’s almost November and there’s a chill in the air, so obviously I’m taking out the Chanukah cookie cutters now. If there’s a quiet Sunday, I can bake cookies and freeze them and we’ll just decorate them another time. I mean all the department stores have had their holiday stuff out since August. Who am I to buck the trend?

(Excerpted from Family First, Issue 618)

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