Voice your questions on kol ishah

Prepared for print by Faigy Peritzman

We live in an apartment where it’s possible for others to hear our zemiros through our open windows. Is this a problem if the whole family is singing together? Do I have to be careful not to be louder than anyone else?

Since a woman’s singing voice can be attractive and distracting to a man, it’s considered — on a rabbinical level — as if she’s improperly exposing herself. The halachah therefore states that kol ishah, a woman’s singing voice, is considered to be an ervah. Since you live in an area where men can hear your singing voice through open windows, it’s your responsibility to make sure that your voice will not be heard louder than anyone else in the family. But if your voice blends in with the others, then it is of no consequence.

Does the prohibition of kol ishah apply to one’s wife, daughter, or granddaughter?

There are two separate prohibitions, often confused, involved with kol ishah:

1) A man may not recite Krias Shema, daven, or learn Torah if he can hear the singing of any female — including his wife or any blood relative.

2) Even when not davening or learning, a man may not hear the singing voice of any female who is married, or any single girl who is over the age of 11. A man’s wife, daughter, and granddaughter are not included in this second prohibition.

Some poskim permit a man to listen to his sister’s singing as well, especially when the entire family is singing zemiros together, while a minority view is more stringent.

My daughter has a solo in her school’s upcoming performance. But during rehearsals she found out that the sound technician is a Jewish man. May she still sing?

The school must make every effort to replace the technician, either with a female or with a non-Jew. If that’s impossible to arrange, an argument could be made that a professional, who is consumed with performing his work, will not be distracted (or attracted) by the kol ishah. The situation should be presented to a rav for a ruling.

Is it a problem to recite or chant a poem or grammen in front of men? May a man listen to a woman playing a musical instrument?

Reciting or chanting a poem is not considered singing and is permitted. It’s also permitted for a man to listen to a musical instrument played by a woman. But singing grammen, which is based on a specific tune, is a form of singing and is considered kol ishah.

Is humming an issue of kol ishah?

While not directly addressed by the poskim, it stands to reason that as long as a woman’s singing voice can be heard, it would be a violation of kol ishah.

My new son-in-law requested that my six-year-old daughter not sing in front of him. Doesn’t kol ishah only begin at 11?

Your son-in-law is correct. While the basic halachah forbids kol ishah of a single girl from the age of 11, the halachah concerning a sister-in-law is more stringent. Because one’s wife’s sister is an ervah to him (as a man may not marry two sisters), the prohibition of kol ishah begins as soon as a girl reaches the age of tzniyus, generally assumed to be between the ages of five to seven.

I’m a kindergarten teacher and I often prepare small clips or record songs to send with my students so their mothers can sing along with them. Is it my responsibility if a father listens to this as well?

It’s not your responsibility to be concerned about fathers listening to the recordings, but it is appropriate for you to notify the family that your singing voice is heard on the recording.

I listen to talk shows, but often there are advertisements that have women singing. Must I turn this off if my boys are in the car?

This would be the correct thing to do. While several poskim debate if, technically speaking, the strict prohibition of kol ishah applies to a recorded voice of a woman who is completely unknown to the man listening to her, all poskim agree that it goes against the spirit of the law and should be avoided as much as possible.

My non-Jewish cleaning lady often sings softly as she works. Must I tell her to stop if my husband is home?

Kol ishah applies to the singing voice of a non-Jew as well. You can either tell her to lower her voice so she will not be heard, or you can arrange for your husband to be in a different room while she’s working.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 771)