He fell asleep to the tune of “I’m disappointed in you,” with a resounding chorus of “You’re creating a rift in the family”

H

is phone pinged, which was good, because he needed a distraction right about now.

Akiva had been staring at the showerhead in his hand for almost ten minutes, trying to figure out how to install it. He’d detached the old one easily, but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out how this rain-head connected to the water hose.

He was beginning to realize that there were some major gaps in his fancy, private-tutor, elite-school education. Like how to install basic appliances. And how to change a tire. Or fix a creaking attic door. Or even how to shop for groceries.

And he’d started feeling something he’d hate to label as “resentment” every time his mother called. Not that he blamed her, really, for giving him a cushy life. He appreciated that, appreciated the opportunities he’d been handed. But he couldn’t help feeling that instead of soaring ahead because of his silver spoon, he was now lagging behind.

He grimaced as the name Mommy appeared in his notifications. He could already sense this wasn’t going to be anything good.

Frankel Fam Chat

Please send in final headcount for Succos in Cancun. Buen día!

Buen día. Oh, boy.

He reached for the shower head one more time in an adrenaline-ridden burst of confidence; the hose slipped off, and he was doused in a rush of freezing cold water.

But of course.