“Y
ou come here often?” Actually, yeah, I’ve been to this Marriot like 11 times. No one said making conversation on dates would be easy. So, when you’re done talking about the traffic, enjoy this special top five submitted by “Riki Shnitzler,” who has taken her conversational dating odyssey and shared it with our reader’s as a zechus for a shidduch — or at the very least, a date with a great conversationalist. Who is she really? Well, now you have something else to talk about.

1.Dale Carnegie

“So, Riki, I read a lot of Dale Carnegie, Riki, is that something, Riki, that you’ve also read… Riki?” Guys love flexing their worldly muscles on dates and Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People is their favorite set of weights. Yeah, I know what he said about using people’s first names (“the sweetest most important sound in any language”) but if you needlessly say mine again the next call you’ll make is to a shadchan, asking “Have any more names?”

2.Whether you overlapped in Eretz Yisrael

Nothing can be more bashert than finding out that your date davened Yamim Noraim in your yeshivah… along with the other 100 girls in her seminary. OMG. You said it quietly but your prayer for the one on the left three rows back was answered before you even knew it.

3.Dorm life

“No, no, no, The Irv is nothing like a seminary dorm.” Sit enraptured as your date breaks down a detailed analysis of Lakewood’s dorm facilities — The Irv versus Solomon Suites versus The Dorm. Watch as he explains that Dorm guys aren’t necessarily more intense — “I mean, I’m a serious guy — they’re just ‘a different type.’ ” And, wow, he even made a PowerPoint slide — this is very helpful. Check please.

4.Why You Want a Learning Boy

First, guys need to make sure you’re not the mashgiach type. They tell stories of their friends who like to chill, while watching carefully to see if their date blinks. Okay, she didn’t wince at the story of the guy who made a cholent in an airplane sink, which means you can finally pop the question: “So, why do you want a husband who’s learning?” In 1,500 words or less.

5.Nicest place you’ve been to on a date

The question, “So, you date rich guys?” doesn’t always translate into another date. Thankfully, guys have developed a subtler way to check out their competition in what sounds like harmless, easy conversation: “So, what’s the nicest restaurant you’ve been to?” At that point, use all your strength and discipline to avoid saying, “Not this one.”