For some women, there’s a pebble on the road to success: chronic and/or mental illness. Four women share their stories

Ayala’s Story

Slowing Down the Flow

It’s been 12 years since the birth of my youngest child, and I’ve been unwell since.

I don’t have an actual diagnosis, but I was sick with severe hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) in each of my four pregnancies, and my body never really recovered. During the last pregnancy, my doctor said he’d never seen such a difficult case as mine, and my children thought I was dying.

After I gave birth, I was very weak from malnutrition and wasn’t well enough to even think of going back to work until my baby was a year old. I then developed a benign tumor in my pituitary gland, which has hampered the ability of my digestive system to absorb nutrients properly. Since the beginning of my last pregnancy, I haven’t been able to eat well. I used to be a bit heavy; now I’m small and can’t gain weight.

The pituitary gland is a pea-size dgland at the base of the brain, but it has deceptively far-reaching effects on the body, like regulating metabolism, water levels, blood pressure and blood sugar, stimulating the thyroid, and bone and muscle maintenance. I can’t take any of these normal body functions for granted anymore — they can and have stopped working properly with little to no warning.

It’s no wonder I can no longer work full time.

For years I’d been a freelance graphic designer, and I had some steady clients. Business was growing, but I dreamed of landing a prestigious, well-paying job that would give me a steady salary and room to grow. This felt like a wistful dream. The opportunity came, though, and I received and accepted a dream job offer as the full-time art director at Tovim Meoros, a large nonprofit in my area.

And then I became pregnant with my fourth.

My husband came home from shul and saw me on the bathroom floor, too weak to crawl to bed. He called my boss to tell him I couldn’t show up. I couldn’t even remember my name. I really hoped the organization would understand and let me come back after the baby. But they couldn’t wait for me. They found a new person, and I was out of a job.