R
ecently, my wife and I returned from South Africa, where the Ohel Sarala initiative started a new chapter in conjunction with the Jewish community of Johannesburg.

After Pesach of last year, we received an e-mail from a South Africa- based organization called the Malka Ella Fertility Fund. This organization was established by Saul and Suzanne Sackstein, an incredible couple who, after experiencing their own challenges with infertility before becoming the parents of a beautiful family, decided to create an infrastructure to help others with similar struggles. This organization has developed contacts with top fertility specialists and subsidizes treatments for couples in need, while facilitating consultation with local poskim and mental health professionals who support the couples through the process. I guess you can call them the Bonei Olam of South Africa.

Suzanne and her dedicated colleague, Kate Gershuni, reached out to us after reading about Ohel Sarala in Mishpacha, and expressed their interest in starting a local chapter to offer chizuk to both singles looking for a shidduch and couples struggling with infertility. After some cajoling, my wife and I agreed to take the 16-hour flight to South Africa and help launch this initiative on the opposite end of the world.

They prepared a full itinerary for our six-day stay, filling my speaking schedule with 13 appearances. While this seemed a bit much at first, in the end I was gratified at the opportunity to meet wonderful Yidden from the various communities and to go from delivering a shiur at the kollel to leading a discussion about life’s challenges with a completely nonaffiliated audience. I saw clearly how connected we Jews are to each other, despite the geographic distance. Our challenges are the same, our concerns for our future and the future of our children are the same, and our deep desire to grow as Yidden and to help our communities grow are the same as well.

The highlight of the trip was the event at which we launched the South Africa chapter of Ohel Sarala. The initial estimate of a crowd of 100 women was upped significantly the day before the event, and a new venue had to be found that would accommodate over 250 women. At the event, I talked about the vast number of singles and couples working together to bring their respective yeshuos, and about the incredible koach of davening for others. It was an intense and emotional evening for all those participating, many of whom found much-needed comfort and chizuk. Many of the attendees were so moved that they signed up later that evening to be part of the Ohel Sarala initiative. Later, we learned that following the unofficial opening of Ohel Sarala in South Africa several months earlier, the initiative had already born fruit, with three engagements taking place within several weeks.

Recently, the Torah world marked the first yahrtzeit of Rav Aharon Leib Steinman ztz”l. Following his passing, there were hundreds of gatherings held around the world in which leading rabbanim and gedolim attempted to describe the incredible life and accomplishments of this great Torah giant.

Having had the zechus to meet with Rav Aharon Leib many times over 25 years before his passing, I was asked to share my own thoughts and reflections about the Rosh Yeshivah in Lakewood, Brooklyn, and Queens. In these venues, I explained that I feel totally inadequate to even attempt to describe his greatness in Torah, chesed, or kedushah, but there is one small thing that I think about every day that I can share about him.

During a brief encounter between Rav Aharon Leib and Rabbi Shlomo Bochner of Bonei Olam, the Rosh Yeshivah shared the idea that by davening for one another, people can merit their respective yeshuos. When Rabbi Bochner shared this idea with me, I knew that this was the perfect way to perpetuate the memory of our beloved daughter Sarala z”l and to bring zechusim to her neshamah. Together with Bonei Olam, we launched the tefillah initiative called Ohel Sarala in these very pages about two years ago, when I outlined my vision to help both singles struggling to find their spouses and couples dealing with the pain and frustration of infertility.

At Rav Aharon Leib’s sheloshim, I shared that at that point, we had already marked over 100 engagements and over 65 births. I explained that while it is virtually impossible to quantify the colossal achievements of Rav Aharon Leib in spreading Torah and chizuk to Yidden throughout the world, it was possible to point to this one small idea of his that yielded such remarkable results. I concluded my remarks at the time by saying that I had no doubt that in the zechus of the Rosh Yeshivah, this initiative — shaped and molded upon his suggestion — will see continued success. But not in my wildest dreams did I envision exactly what that would mean.

Now, one year later, not only have we celebrated over 320 engagements and over 130 births (plus many that are not yet documented), the success of the Ohel Sarala initiative has spread throughout the world. This past September, an Ohel Sarala evening of chizuk took place in Toronto in conjunction with an incredible local organization called the Toronto Shidduch Initiative. That event was followed by this trip to South Africa.

“Megalgelin zechus al yedei zakkai,” Chazal say. This means not only that one needs a zechus to be able to accomplish anything good in This World, but also that one who is exceedingly worthy will merit to have his zechusim keep on rolling forward, creating even more opportunities and zechusim for himself. The Rosh Yeshivah clearly was just such an individual who merited continued zechusim; even a whisper of his on Rechov Chazon Ish 5 continues to reverberate across the world, even in the faraway continent of Africa.

In the tefillah of Avinu Malkeinu, we ask Hashem to write us in the “sefer zechuyos” (book of merits). What does this mean? If we deserve to be inscribed in the book of merits, we don’t need to remind Him to do that, and if we don’t, how can we ask to be written in? The Lakewood mashgiach, Rav Mattisyahu Solomon, explained in the name of his rebbi, Rav Eliyahu Lopian, that we are asking Hashem to write us in the book of those who have the opportunity to earn zechusim. We need zechusim just to be able to do things that will generate zechusim for us, zechusim that will continue to allow us to accomplish great things even after we are no longer in this temporal world. Clearly, one of the myriad zechusim Rav Aharon Leib merited to have inscribed in the sefer zechuyos was to have his initiative of “tefillah with chesed” spread throughout the world.

I would like to conclude with a very personal story. It’s so personal that until now, I never shared it with anyone, even my wife, primarily because I’m still not sure what to make of it.

Several months ago, we attended a wedding in Lakewood of an older single girl who, after years of searching, finally met her chassan, just three months after joining Ohel Sarala. When the new husband and wife entered the ballroom, spirited dancing erupted.

My days of spirited dancing ended years ago, and unless I have a close relationship with the chassan — in which case I join the circle and dance with him for a few minutes — I usually opt for the role of “passive observer.” At this particular wedding, I did not know the chassan personally, so I stood on the outer circle of the dancing. All of a sudden, an older gentleman with a short white beard grabbed my hands in his and pulled me into the circle to dance. I had never seen him before and had no idea why he had chosen to dance with me. What I remember, and what made the experience so confusing, was his grip on my hands. He was an old man, yet his grip was so powerful. I tried to pry loose from his hands, but his grip was just much too strong. He didn’t say one word to me, just danced intensely without letting go of my hands.

After a few minutes, he stopped dancing, let go of my hands, and, without saying a word, just walked away. I could not understand why he had chosen me to dance with or even who he was. I pointed him out to the kallah’s brother and the chassan’s brother-in-law, but neither one knew who he was, nor had they ever seen him before.

I decided to approach him directly and ask him to explain his strange behavior, but I could not find him anywhere, neither on the dance floor nor in the ballroom itself. As confusing as this was, I didn’t make much of it until several days later, when the kallah’s brother called to tell me that he had reviewed all the videos from the wedding, and there was not even one frame of that mysterious older man in any of them.

I have been thinking about this mystery for a while and have no idea what to make of it, which is why I kept it a secret — until now. Was he a stranger whose favorite pastime is to attend weddings of strangers and pull the worst dancer in the room into the inner circle and dance with him? Or was it perhaps a deceased elter zeide who, filled with simchah at the chasunah of an older granddaughter, was granted the ability to join in the simchah and dance with those who made Ohel Sarala possible? I have no explanation or understanding and I leave it to the readers to decide.

With the Rosh Yeshivah ztz”l and Sarala z”l shepping nachas in Shamayim watching the hundreds of weddings and births taking place in Klal Yisrael — in New York, in Toronto, and now in South Africa — Ohel Sarala will continue to respond to the recent requests to open chapters in Antwerp, London, Los Angeles, and Chicago. May Klal Yisrael always be busy with simchahs.

This article was written l’zecher nishmas Sarah Chaya z”l bas Rav Aryeh Zev.

Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 754. Rabbi Aryeh Z. Ginzberg is the rav of the Chofetz Chaim Torah Center of Cedarhurst and the founding rav of Ohr Moshe Institute in Hillcrest, Queens. He is a published author of several sifrei halachah, and a frequent contributor to many magazines and newspapers, where he writes the Torah hashkafah on timely issues of the day. He is also a sought-after lecturer on Torah hashkafah at a variety of venues around the country.