Chaim continued to insist the din be followed with no exceptions

I do my best to avoid mediating financial disputes. They usually end with all sides disgruntled and negative feelings toward me. Yet a rabbinic colleague pleaded with me to act as an outside mediator in this case, and I agreed — though Rosh Hashanah was just days away and I had derashos to write and congregants to meet — but asking that a driver be sent to bring me to the din Torah.

Chaim*, the younger brother, was a successful businessman. His older sister, Chava*, was a struggling single mother. Their elderly father had just passed away.

Chaim, the only son, claimed he was the sole heir to the estate as the din stipulated.

Chava, the undisputed prime caregiver to their father, claimed her father had verbally indicated that his estate be divided equally, although he never took the necessary halachic steps to ensure his wishes were fulfilled.

Chaim had never disputed his father’s wishes in this area, and he was also open to supporting his sister financially. Yet he insisted that the din be followed, and only at his discretion would he dispense funds to Chava.

Chava felt her brother should be mochel his right to the entire estate and requested the money be shared, granting her financial independence without subjecting herself to the whims of her younger brother.

Yet Chaim continued to insist the din be followed with no exceptions.

I listened with a sense of angst to Chaim and his insistence on following the din in its exact form. Then I spoke, silently davening to Hashem for the right words to say.

“Chaim, I’m disappointed by your insistence on din. Allow me to tell you what transpired during my car ride here. When my driver, a Thai man named Somsak, said, ‘I see you are a Jew,’ I nervously waited to see what his next words would be. But I was surprised.

" ‘I was in Israel on October 7,’ he told me. ‘I worked on a kibbutz in the south. When Hamas attacked, a Jewish man told me to escape. I ran and met a soldier who saved me. Not so long ago, I left Israel and came here. You are my first Jewish passenger.’

"Somsak then did something completely unexpected. He took out a twenty-dollar bill and handed it to me.

" ‘What’s this for?’ I asked him, very confused.

" ‘I can never repay the man who saved me,’ he said. ‘I don’t even know his name. But I want to give something back to a Jew. Please give this to a Jewish person who needs it. Give it to a Jew who needs compassion, as compassion was shown to me.’ ”

“Chaim,” I now said, “we are just days before the great Din, yet while most seek rachamim, you insist on going according to din. I will give you my din, and if you listen carefully, all other questions will disappear.

“Chaim, I was wondering how I would find that Jew, the one who would most benefit from the money Somsak gave me. But Chaim, I now know who that Jew is.”

I removed the 20 dollars from my pocket and placed it in Chaim’s hand.

“My psak is that according to the din, you are the Jew who can most benefit from the twenty dollars given to me by Somsak. Somsak asked that I find a Jew who needs compassion, and Chaim, you are that Jew. Take it. It’s yours by my din.”

Chaim began to speak; however, no words escaped his mouth.

I quietly stood and left the room. As I walked out of the building, Chaim’s cries from the depths of his soul could still be heard as I made my way back into the sunlight.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 1031)