Do something today! That will ensure that the you of tomorrow will follow suit and get closer to where you want to go

Stop Choosing the Banana

Tsippi Gross and Rivky Rothenberg

WE all like to think we’ll make better choices tomorrow: tomorrow we’ll wake up early. Tomorrow we’ll eat healthier. Tomorrow we’ll get our finances in order.

Researchers once asked participants what they’d choose for a snack in the future — a healthy banana or a decadent piece of chocolate. Most people proudly said they’d go for the banana. But when the time came to actually choose, most of them grabbed the chocolate instead.

Sound familiar?

This little experiment highlights something psychologists call the “intention-action gap.” It’s the difference between what we intend to do in the future and what we actually do when the moment arrives. We love to picture our future selves as disciplined, organized, and financially savvy. But in reality, our future self isn’t any better at resisting temptation or procrastination than we are right now.

The key is not to beat yourself up over this tendency. It’s to recognize it and start making small, positive changes today — even if it feels inconvenient or hard.

Do something today! That will ensure that the you of tomorrow will follow suit and get closer to where you want to go.

Start a savings account, even if it’s just $10. Building the habit matters more than the amount.

Pay off a little extra debt.

Skip one treat this week and use that money to pay down your balance.

It’s a small win, but it adds up.

Set up automatic transfers for this so it happens without having to rely on your future self’s willpower. Spend ten minutes today (or even five, or even one!) learning something about budgeting or managing debt.

You’ll be surprised how empowering it feels.

The goal isn’t to transform your financial life overnight. It’s to stop delaying progress because you think you’ll be better equipped to deal with it later.

If you want to break the bad habit, as uncomfortable as it is, start breaking it today. You want to start something new? You don’t need perfect circumstances to start — just start.

Stop putting off working toward your financial goals. Start small, start messy, but start today. The ability to make different choices tomorrow depends on what you do today. Take the step today that you expect to see your future self taking tomorrow.

Tsippi Gross is a business consultant and Rivky Rothenberg is a CPA. Together they started Ashir, a nonprofit that provides financial training for communities and families.

Attached

Zipora Schuck

Attachment theory states that a parent’s or caregiver’s connection to a child in their early years has the power to impact the child’s ability to form healthy relationships in the future.

How do we go about attaching successfully? What are the building blocks of connection?

Dr. Dan Siegel, a psychiatrist, and Dr. Tina Bryson, a psychotherapist, both experts in the field of child development, offer insight into what healthy attachment looks like. They refer to these crucial factors as the four s’s, which stand for:

Safe: A parent helps a child feel safe. We do this by making sure the parent will not be a source of fear for the child, by reconnecting after an argument, and admitting when we do something wrong to our children. Another aspect of safety is to make sure that our homes are a haven for our children and are both physically and emotionally safe places.

Seen: A parent makes a child feel seen. We let children know we see the real them by learning what our children are all about, recognizing and accepting their unique and multifaceted personalities, and striving to understand what their experiences are at every age and stage.

Soothed: A parent makes a child feel soothed. Soothed children are comforted when agitated and assisted in developing their own coping strategies. Siegel and Bryson refer to the acronym of PEACE to help us understand what it means to soothe another, emphasizing the importance of adult Presence, Engagement, Affection, Calm, and Empathy.

Secure is the last of the four s’s and dovetails with the other factors by cultivating a sense of trust and security. Children who feel secure can be vulnerable with their own shortcomings and manage big emotions. They aren’t afraid to make mistakes or voice a different opinion without fear of repercussion or shame.

These factors are crucial for a parent-child relationship but are also parameters of wholesome connections at all ages and stages. Substitute any other association — teacher/student, employer/employee, spouses, friends — and see that these never cease to be important and necessary components of relationships.

Zipora Schuck MA. MS. is a NYS school psychologist and educational consultant for many schools in the NY/NJ area. She works with students, teachers, principals, and parents to help children be successful.

Colic

Dr. Jennie Berkovich

Whenever I’m taking care of a baby that I suspect has colic,  I always tell parents, “I have good news and bad news.” I do this because colic is a frustrating diagnosis without much available to provide relief. However, while we don’t know the exact cause, we do know that it typically resolves by three to four months.

Colic is defined by excessive crying in otherwise healthy babies. Contrary to popular belief, it isn’t caused by digestive or formula issues. Thus gripe water, gas drops, and other medicines marketed to help reduce crying are usually ineffective.

Some strategies for relief include reducing stimulation and using white noise. Probiotics can be helpful, as well as tight swaddling and gentle rocking. Movement is medicine, even for babies! Most importantly, remember that infants with colic outgrow it and develop into healthy babies without any significant health consequences.

Dr. Jennie Berkovich is a board-certified pediatrician in Chicago and serves as the Director of Education for the Jewish Orthodox Women's Medical Association (JOWMA)

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 932)