And it came to pass in the year 2087 that after 70 years of negotiating Israel and the Arabs finally agreed to a peace agreement under the rubric “Two States for Two Peoples.”

The president of the United States an Asian-American woman with a black father and a Mexican mother invited to the White House the Israeli Prime Minister and the Chairman of the Palestinian Authority.

Out on the White House lawn the American president declared “This is a historic day. Two states for two peoples with secure and recognized borders — this is the formula for peace in our times.” The three leaders went inside to iron out a few particulars. The president opened the meeting: “Gentlemen let us now show our good will and work out the few remaining components of this historic agreement.”

The Israeli PM spoke first. “I am happy to secure peace but we must define our terms. Firstly who are the “two peoples”? Obviously not the Chinese and the Japanese ” he said with a self-deprecating smile “but the Jews and the Arabs. But which Arabs are we talking about? There are Arabs within Israel proper plus others in Judea and Samaria plus others in Gaza. Clearly we must be specific.”

The chairman responded: “Our national honor does not permit us to omit any of these populations. The two peoples are the Jews and the Arabs. Certainly that would include all the Arabs whether they live in Israel proper or in contiguous areas.”

The PM interrupted: “In that case you are no longer talking about two peoples. Instead you are talking about three separate and distinct Arab populations and one distinct Jewish population. So in fact we no longer have Two States for Two Peoples. Instead we have one Jewish state and three Arab states. Surely you do not expect Israel to go along with this!”

The president spoke up: “Let us put off that discussion till the later stages. Let us move to a new subject.”

PM: “Agreed. I wish to raise another question. If Judea and Samaria are to be Palestinian states what happens to the 500000 Jews now living within those areas?”

Chairman: “They will be most welcome citizens of our new state. We will give them equal rights of course.”

PM: “That is very generous. No offense but I dare say that almost every single one of those 500000 would rather live under a Jewish government — as do many Arabs. They would have to abandon their homes in Judea and Samaria. Surely you recall how difficult and painful it was to evacuate 2000 Jews from Gaza. Can you imagine us evacuating 500000?”

US president: “Let us not be deterred by details. Let’s leave this for the final talks and go on to something else.”

PM. “What about armed forces? Israelis recall very clearly the Gaza evacuation when the Arabs took over — 16000 rockets and mortars rained down on us. Surely you cannot expect Israel to agree to put Arab armed forces on our very borders! Let’s face it: Israel and the Arabs are not quite like the US and Canada.”

Chairman: “I personally guarantee peace. You have my personal word on that.”

US President: “Let’s leave this for later discussion after all the other matters are resolved. For example what will be the capital of the new states?”

Chairman: “Obviously Jerusalem.”

PM: “Jerusalem is a small city. How can you have three separate capitals there plus a Jewish capital? Who will be in charge of the Western Wall or the mosques or the churches? Will the different sections of the capital be walled off from one another? I submit with all due respect that this is not a dream but rather a nightmare.”

Chairman: ”With good will everything can be worked out.”

PM: “All the good will in the world cannot turn night into day. Ms. President I would like these talks to succeed but we’re dealing with a mantra not a treaty. Perhaps we should postpone further talks until these details are ironed out.”

The three participants concurred and issued a joint communique: “Frank and open talks were held in the White House. It was agreed that certain sensitive issues will be left for the final discussions. In the interim we remain dedicated to the cardinal principle of Two States for Two Peoples for without this cornerstone principle there can be no peace in the Middle East.”