My mother is so balanced and thought out, with so much knowledge. Mommy heard me out. She heard the desire and hesitation in my voice. Then she said, “Derech eretz kadmah laTorah means that having derech eretz is a prerequisite to keeping the Torah. But I heard from Rav Todros Miller that derech eretz can also mean ‘the way you relate to the land’ — meaning physicality. Every Jew needs to be committed to Torah. But before you decide how your home will look and how full-time your husband’s learning will be, you need to honestly decide what your derech eretz is. How you relate to physical stuff. How much you need.”

It was still a lot to chew over, but Mommy’s words gave me a practical starting point that helped my brain calm down a little.

Sunday afternoon, seminary was in an uproar. The video of our production was ready! We all scrambled into the dining room. The madrichot had set up a huge projector. Chairs scraped closer and the video started.

Watching that video was amazing. Scene after scene, nuance after nuance — it was all a dream! I felt like I was watching a product that was so gorgeous, so beyond me, that it was totally mind-boggling to think that it had begun as just the stroke of my pen. Watching the play live had been fun, but not this fun, because there was that stress of making sure it ran smoothly. But now, months later, I could just sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. I enjoyed it so much that girls told me that watching me watch the video was more fun than watching the video! Honestly, I knew I was being fun to watch, but I couldn’t help it.

Floating on air the next day, I was in for a surprise when I walked into my room and found Ellie Fromowitz there. She was alone, sitting on the desk chair that Layla, Aviva, and I all shared. When she heard me walk in, she looked up.

The expression on her face startled me. Ellie was a smart talker, always confident. She always gave off this vibe of “take me or leave me — I couldn’t care less what you think.” But right now, her face literally screamed vulnerability.

Something about that look was so endearing, especially compared to how intimidating she sometimes seemed in a crowd. So I laughed and said, “You know, you’re such an intriguing person, Ellie.”

Being Ellie, she demanded, “What do you mean, I’m intriguing?”

I hemmed and hawed a little until I finally told her what had made me say that. Her face softened, and she looked at me as if she was seeing me for the first time.

“I want to make a deal with you,” she said.

to be continued…

(Originally featured in Mishpacha Jr., Issue 849)