The good thing about stepping on the underside of a broken toy car is that you can now trash it guilt-free

IN

all the parenting books filled with commiseration, encouragement, tips, and advice, nobody ever mentioned to me the very frequent parenting hazard of stepping on broken toy cars. There’s talk about the pain of child rearing, the difficulties of pregnancy, the endless years of sleep deprivation, but not one word about broken toy cars placed randomly around the house, or the upside-down steering wheel of the Playmobil ice cream truck that your son was searching for in tears all afternoon, and that you were lucky enough to find right after you took off your shoes. They call themselves parenting gurus while willfully neglecting the most painful and unavoidable parts of raising children and running a household? Thus, I now take it upon my rather frail shoulders to enlighten you about those things nobody thought you should know when you set out to raise the next generation of mothers and fathers. You’re welcome.

The good thing about stepping on the underside of a broken toy car is that you can now trash it guilt-free. Did you think you might still find the second half of the toy car? Rest assured that once you have stepped on it hard, barefoot, said toy car has fulfilled its duties in this earthly world and can be disposed of properly. Housekeeping might not be my strongest point, but there’s an organization tip right there.