Strategies for intentional living from experts who get it

Screen Trap

Shona Kaisman-Schwartz

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icture this: It’s 5:30 a.m., and your three-year-old bounces into your room wide-awake and ready to conquer the world, while you’re desperately clinging to the hope of just one more hour of sleep. In your bleary-eyed state, pressing play on an Uncle Moishy clip feels like the most reasonable solution in the world.

Many exhausted parents find themselves using screens as a digital babysitter during those brutally early hours, but morning screen use is particularly problematic. While doing it occasionally in desperate moments won’t derail your child’s development, it’s crucial to ensure that emergency use doesn’t slowly become a daily pattern.

Screen use during this window of time creates ripple effects that extend far beyond your living room. Morning screen time puts young brains in a hyperstimulated state that makes switching to real-world activities genuinely painful. This explains those post-screen meltdowns that happen right when it’s time to leave for school — leaving teachers and caregivers to manage the behavioral fallout from those early morning viewing sessions.

Early morning screen time also wastes peak learning time. Your child’s brain is most receptive and focused in those first waking hours. Significant growth happens during early morning independent play, conversations, and problem-solving moments. Replacing this natural development time with passive screen entertainment represents a missed opportunity.

And let’s face it: Screens become the path of least resistance. What starts as “just 15 minutes” quickly transforms into the only acceptable way to begin each day. Children naturally gravitate away from harder skills — like entertaining themselves or managing boredom — when screens offer instant, effortless stimulation.

Parenting Reality Check

Let’s acknowledge something crucial: Parenting is genuinely difficult, and those early morning struggles when you’re running on fragmented sleep can feel nearly impossible. The digital babysitter feels acceptable precisely because we really are stretched beyond our limits.

A paradigm shift can be helpful. You wouldn’t set up a candy buffet for breakfast despite your child’s enthusiasm and your temporary peace, right? Morning screens present a similar trade-off. The short-term ease comes with longer-term developmental costs.

What might work for a 5:30 a.m. wakeup instead?

Create a special “early morning basket” with quiet, independent activities your child only gets during these early wake-ups.

Children’s stories on 24Six or a Naki setup with headphones.

A special pile of books.

Magna-Tiles and Lego.

Set a timed nightlight that goes off when your kid can leave their bed/room.

If all else fails, take turns with your spouse “resting on the couch.”

Some mornings will inevitably be challenging, filled with exhaustion, frustration, and the general chaos of family life — and that’s completely normal. The key here is understanding that while difficult mornings are part of childhood, the developmental impact of regular morning screen time creates unnecessary obstacles to your child’s growth.

Remember that what feels like a quick fix in the moment often creates patterns that are harder to break later. By investing in alternative solutions now, you’re supporting your child’s natural development while still acknowledging the very real challenges of early morning parenting.

Shona Kaisman-Schwartz is an educational consultant. She is the author of How To Stop Caring What Others Think: For Real and the book Always On: An Interactive Parents’ Guide to the (Dis)Connected Generation.

Simchah Without Shadows

Rachel Burnham with Bassi Gruen

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have an older sister….”

This is the beginning of so many wrenching conversations.

When a woman is dating while her older sister is still single, there are often so many conflicting feelings: guilt, fear, sadness. Some women may even unwittingly sabotage a promising shidduch out of concern about getting engaged first.

If you’re in this tough position, please keep in mind: No one can take away another person’s bashert. You finding your soulmate takes nothing at all from your sister. You and your sister are on different journeys, with different timelines, experiences, and inner work to do.

Well, I hear you saying, I’m taking away the opportunity for her to be the first one married in our family or the chance for us to “go in order.”

Yes, that’s true. But what’s the alternative? Would it really be better for your family to have not only one single at home, but a whole row of them? That can create even more pressure for your sister — and may lead her to rush into something unwise just to “break the traffic jam.” Often, when one person gets married, it helps shake things up. You know how sometimes you can’t get a pickle out of the jar, and once you manage to yank one out, the rest slide out easily? I’ve found it can be like that with families, too.

If no one is married, people may wonder if something’s wrong. But once things start to move, there’s a sense of flow.

Beyond that, a simchah shines a spotlight on the family — there’s a vort, chasunah, sheva brachos — and those moments offer many opportunities for the older sister to be seen, remembered, and offered new suggestions.

There’s also a psychological element at play. I’ve seen many cases where an older sister — who may be struggling with fears of commitment or some other emotional block — watches her younger sibling move smoothly through dating. It gives her a role model, and a gentle, much-needed push forward.

If you’re seriously dating or getting engaged, don’t keep her in the dark. That can feel infantilizing, as if you’re viewing her as fragile. She’s still your older sister. She likely has wisdom to share. Ask her for input.

As someone who had three younger siblings get married before me, I can tell you: even if it’s bittersweet, we want to be part of your simchah. Ask your sister how she’d like to be included. Does she want to come with you for sheitels or gowns? Or would she rather just focus on her own dress? Find out and respect her answer.

Rachel Burnham is a dating coach and speaker. After marrying at 34, she dedicated herself to helping singles date from their most authentic selves, navigate singlehood with dignity, and make it proudly to the chuppah.

Budgeting Block

Tsippi Gross and Rivky Rothenberg

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many couples avoid budgeting — not because they don’t care, but because something deeper is going on.

Sometimes, it’s fear. For one spouse, it might be a fear of loss. “If we budget, I’ll have to give things up — no more eating out, no more fun, no more freedom.” For another, it might be pride. “If we look at the numbers too closely, it’ll be obvious that I don’t bring in enough. I don’t want to feel like a failure.”

These fears make sense. Budgeting can feel like restriction, or like holding a mirror to things we’d rather avoid. But the truth is, the only way to gain clarity, peace, and real control is by being willing to take a real look at our reality. When we get to the root of the resistance, we can overcome our avoidance and start approaching money with honesty, teamwork, and maybe even calm.

Tsippi Gross is a business consultant and Rivky Rothenberg is a CPA. Together they started Ashir, a nonprofit that provides financial training for communities and families.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 959)