“Maybe you need to change the profile of the men you date,” I suggested gently

“They said you’re good, so I’m giving you a shot, but I have no time for fluff, and I don’t want a therapist, I want someone who’ll help me find a good guy who’s actually marriage material. If you can do that, and fast, great. If not, let’s not waste our time.”

I took a deep breath before responding to the woman on the other end of the line. “Hi. I don’t think I caught your name? Why don’t you tell me about yourself, and then we can explore the possibility of working together.”

“Meirav Dweck from Los Angeles*, 36, been dating for twelve years. Personal injury lawyer, made partner two years ago. What else do you want to know?”

“How would you describe yourself and what you’re looking for?”

“We’re supposed to be modest, but you need the facts: I’m bright, talented, ambitious, and hardworking — in my field, if you don’t put in sixty-hour weeks, you won’t get anywhere. I stay in shape, and people say I’m pretty.

“I just want a guy who’s the same way: a great profession, strong work ethic, charismatic, and obviously, I’d like tall and handsome.”

Meirav had gone on plenty of dates, and many started out promising. People set her up with high-powered executives, and the first few dates would be great as the two exchanged witty anecdotes. But then it would fall apart.

“I’m starting to wonder if all men are narcissists,” Meirav told me. “They’re fun to date in the beginning, but then they get hung up on stupidities, or start arguments over nothing, and somehow, by date number six, we’re yelling at each other. Or they’re so obnoxious, I never want to see them again.”

“Maybe you need to change the profile of the men you date,” I suggested gently. “More intensity may not work; you have enough ambition and moxie for two. Maybe consider someone who isn’t a go-getter, but is kind and gentle.”

“You mean I should marry a loser?”