We can learn from Batsheva to mentally “bow” before Hashem’s Will, to accept His supremacy before making any requests

מַרְבַדִּים עָשְׂתָה לָּהּ;

שֵׁשׁ וְאַרְגָּמָן לְבוּשָׁהּ.

She made for herself luxurious bedspreads,

Linen and purple wool are her clothing

Real Royalty

Rebbetzin Shira Smiles

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he midrash associates this pasuk with Batsheva, wife of Dovid Hamelech and mother of Shlomo Hamelech, as she was adorned with magnificent royal robes when her son was crowned king of the Jewish people.

The Navi describes Batsheva as exceedingly beautiful. “Veha’ishah tovas mar’eh me’od.” (Shmuel II, 11:2) Basing his comment on the Kli Yakar, the Mishbetzos Zahav notes that Dovid Hamelech is also described as having a handsome appearance, “tov ro’i.” (Shmuel I, 16:12) He adds that all those who would look at Dovid Hamelech would remember their Torah studies and be stirred with a yearning for greater spiritual heights. Similarly, all those who looked at Batsheva were infused with a special measure of goodness and blessing. The physical appearances of both Dovid Hamelech and Batsheva were an outer manifestation of their inner greatness, and were clearly an indication they were destined to marry, from the beginning of time.

In Nach, Batsheva is more of a passive participant. However, there’s one important incident where Batsheva takes quite an active role. At the end of Dovid Hamelech’s life, Nosson Hanavi advises Batsheva to go to Dovid Hamelech to inform him that his son Adoniyahu had declared himself successor to the king. This went against the promise that Dovid Hamelech made to Batsheva years earlier, that her son Shlomo would be the next king.

Upon entering Dovid Hamelech’s chamber, the Navi tells us that Batsheva bows before the king. In Tiv Ha’Haftoros, Rav Gamliel Rabinovitz says that this detail conveys that Batsheva was expressing to Dovid Hamelech that she would accept whatever he decided.

We can learn from Batsheva to mentally “bow” before Hashem’s Will, to accept His supremacy before making any requests. We can preface our tefillos with the mindset that although we may have many things to ask from Hashem, we know, as Chovos Halevavos (2:75) reminds us, that “Hashem’s ultimate choices are better than our choices.” In His Omnipotence, He considers so many more details than we could ever imagine.

Chazal teach us that she told her son Shlomo that when she was expecting him, she took a vow, stating, “Let me have a son who is diligent and filled with knowledge of the Torah and fit for prophecy.” (Sanhedrin 70b) Her every action stemmed from the deep desire to be a true daughter who willingly accepts the ratzon Hashem. This is the exquisite “clothing” that her son Shlomo Hamelech inherited from, earning him the name Yedidya, the “friend of Hashem.” True malchus belongs to one who develops their own middos of humility and trust in Hashem, and in so doing, impacts others to grow and connect more deeply.

Rebbetzin Shira Smiles is a lecturer in the Yerushalayim area, and a mechaneches in Darchei Binah Seminary. She is the author of Torah Tapestries, which includes extensive essays on each parshah, and Arise and Aspire, on birchos hashachar.

Dressed to Impress

Mrs. Shira Hochheimer

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number of years ago, I sprained one ankle. That one barely healed, and I sprained the other. For many, many months, I couldn’t cook, clean, or do the myriad tasks by which I’d defined what it means to be a good Jewish mamma. I’d absorbed how important laundry and cooking was in building a Jewish home. Now what?

In the previous pasuk, the eishes chayil dressed her household in scarlet. She herself dressed in shesh (linen) and argaman (a dyed purple fabric), the clothes of Kohanim and kings (Daas Mikra). The Ralbag clarifies that the eishes chayil doesn’t do dishes wearing a ball gown, rather her clothing fits nicely, is attractive, and is clean.

The pasuk also tells us that she makes marvadim for herself, which the Rishonim translate as either bed linens or jewelry.

The eishes chayil can hold her own at any social event. Her home decor is worthy of a magazine. But what distinguishes the eishes chayil from a materialistic woman, obsessed by and competitive when it comes to what she wears and how she decorates?

The answer is one word: lah, for herself. The eishes chayil puts effort into what she wears, how she looks, and decorates her home for herself. (Metzudas Dovid)

Women are involved in menial work on a regular basis. We change diapers, scrub toilets, and chop vegetables more often than we have meaningful conversations with our husband and children. We could start to look at ourselves as mere servants.

We need to keep reminding ourselves that we are doing these tasks in the service of a greater goal. We’re providing the spiritual energy of the home, and we infuse that into all the household work we do. We’re the matriarchs of our home and our position is honorable and worthy of respect. For this reason, the eishes chayil dresses with dignity, even luxury, to emphasize this point. She makes sure that the woman looking back at her in the mirror is put together to remind herself of her importance.

Years ago, this pasuk reminded me that I had a position in my home that could never be replaced, even if I outsourced all the menial tasks. And this position deserves respect, and how I take care of myself and the way I look is an expression of that respect.

Mrs. Shira Hochheimer is the author of Eishes Chayil: Ancient Wisdom for Women of Today, a presenter for Torat Imecha Nach Yomi, and an administrator for WITS in Baltimore, MD.

Garments for the Soul

Rebbetzin Debbie Greenblatt

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n the simplest level, the eishes chayil is successful in her endeavors both at home and in bringing sustenance to her family, and with what she has earned, she creates for herself beautiful bedspreads and fine clothing. There’s no martyr here; we’ve seen that she takes care of her family and the poor who come her way, and at the same time, doesn’t neglect her own needs, adorning both herself and her home with beautiful things.

This isn’t a nod to materialism, or a dispensation to keep raising the bar on what we need to feel good about ourselves. Rather, this pasuk is an expression of a woman who knows her worth, and presents herself appropriately as the accomplished and dignified daughter of the King. Her external expression is in line with her internal value.

On a deeper level, our middos are often described in terms of clothing, as the garments our soul wears. Bad middos are described as soiled clothing. The eishes chayil lets go of unsightly middos and embraces loftier ones. Here, Shlomo Hamelech stresses asisah lah, that what the eishes chayil made, she made herself. Every person comes into the world with a unique recipe of natural tendencies. Some seem better, or at least easier, like an easygoing nature, and some seem at the outset more challenging, like someone who is naturally high strung, or for whom any change is difficult.

Our Sages teach us that the unique recipe that is each of us, is the chomer, the raw material we were given to work with to be Hashem’s partners in the ongoing creation of His world. Our job is to take what we were given and impose upon it tzurah, form, specifically the form of that middah in line with Torah. Even a person who is naturally giving must incorporate the proper measure of chesed, and refrain from doing chesed in the wrong place, which can lead to either cruelty or inappropriate relationships.

Every natural inclination we were given can be channeled into something positive that brings us forward in our personal development and contributes to Klal Yisrael. The good middos that we work so hard to attain, little by little, day by day, are the way we create those beautiful garments that will adorn our soul, and will be l’kavod u’l’tiferes, for our honor and glory.

Rebbetzin Debbie Greenblatt is a senior lecturer for the Gateways organization and a teacher of both the observant and the not-yet-observant. She is also director of education at Core.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 971)