When we’re torn between  work responsibilities and our home, the Eishes Chayil shows us the way

,יָדֶֽיהָ שִׁלְּחָה בַכִּישׁוֹר

וְכַפֶּֽיהָ תָּֽמְכוּ פָֽלֶךְ

A Simple Tent Peg

Rebbetzin Shira Smiles

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he Midrash links this pasuk to Yael, who saved the Jewish people during the days of Devorah Haneviah by killing the Canaani general Sisera, thereby ending the war between the Canaanim and Bnei Yisrael. Yael invited Sisera into her tent and offered him warm milk to make him drowsy. Once he fell into a deep sleep, she killed him by driving a tent peg into his temple.

How did Yael merit to be the one who brought about salvation? Further, it’s interesting that the Midrash focuses on Yael’s weapon, the simple tent peg. What is its significance?

Yael is referred to a number of times as “eishes Chever HaKeini — the wife of Chever the Keini.” Midrash Yalkut Shimoni interprets this distinction as an “ishah kesheirah osah retzon ba’alah — a righteous woman who does the will of her husband.” Her noble deference to her husband yielded her great merit to save the Jewish people from destruction.

Chassidic masters explain Chazal’s statement, “ishah kesheirah osah retzon ba’alah” as follows: The word “osah” means does, but it can also mean to make or create. Thus, a righteous woman “osah,” creates or fashions, the will of her husband. Shlomo Hamelech teaches that a woman builds her home with wisdom; she uses her deeper understanding to enable her spouse to grow and flourish in his avodas Hashem. Perhaps Yael found inspiration from Devorah, as Chazal teach that Devorah merited prophecy because she made wicks for her husband, Barak, to bring to the Mikdash, facilitating his strong connection to Torah.

In his sefer Klei Yakar, Rav Shmuel Laniado explains that Yael chose a tent peg as a weapon so that in the event that Sisera would awaken, he would not be alarmed to see the peg in her hand, as it was common for women to tighten the corners of their tent. On a deeper level, he explains, just as a tent peg keeps the foundation of a tent firm, so, too, Yael’s foundation was emunah.

Devorah Haneviah praises Yael, saying, “Mi’nashim ba’ohel tevorach — by women in the tent will she be blessed” (Shoftim 5:24). Chazal understand this to mean that she will be blessed like the Imahos (who are each associated with their tents). Although it may have seemed that Yael acted with a lack of tzniyus to go out and greet Sisera, Rav Laniado explains that like the Imahos, her intentions were completely l’Sheim Shamayim. Just like her husband was a “chaver,” one who was connected to Hashem, so was she.

Rebbetzin Shira Smiles is a lecturer in the Yerushalayim area, and a mechaneches in Darchei Binah Seminary. She is the author of Torah Tapestries, which includes extensive essays on each parshah, and Arise and Aspire, on birchos hashachar.

Stop Spinning

Mrs. Shira Hochheimer

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son recently joked that I like to work nine to five — 9 p.m. to 5 a.m., that is. I’m a night owl who gets involved in projects and doesn’t notice the time slipping away. I like to spend my evenings typing and creating, a welcome distraction from my more formal day job.

But often, just as I get into a state of flow, I hear the pitter patter of feet. “Mommy? I can’t sleep.”

A half hour later, “Mommy?”

I sigh and turn from the half-written page to reassure a girl who just needs to talk.

This pasuk in Eishes Chayil has helped me keep these times — when I need or want to work but am interrupted — in perspective. In the previous pesukim, we learned of the Eishes Chayil’s business acumen, while in this pasuk, she’s working the spinning wheel, a domestic chore. The Metzudas Dovid explains that no matter how talented she is in her role in the outside world, at the end of the day, the Eishes Chayil still spins, i.e., she still prioritizes taking care of her home.

The Malbim tells us to read this pasuk along with the next: Those same hands that expertly spin, stop, and send money and food to the destitute. Being productive is fine and good, Shlomo Hamelech is saying, as long as the we remember that people are more important than our to-do lists. When someone knocks on the door asking for help, we should give them the same attention as we give to our work.

It’s not always easy to stop and respond to the neediest ani v’evyon of them all — a child who wants his mother, who’s entirely dependent on his parents for emotional and physical survival. But the Eishes Chayil is teaching us that when little hands pull on our skirt, or someone knocks on our door, seeking our assistance, the greatest act of all is to put aside what we’re doing and give them our full attention.

Mrs. Shira Hochheimer is the author of Eishes Chayil: Ancient Wisdom for Women of Today, a presenter for Torat Imecha Nach Yomi, and an administrator for WITS in Baltimore, MD.

Wisdom of the Heart

Rebbetzin Debbie Greenblatt

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he kishor (distaff) is an instrument that holds the raw flax or wool before it’s turned into yarn. It’s situated higher than the pelech, the spindle that twists the raw fiber into threads.

The Zera Shimshon says the kishor is related to the word kisharon — ability or talent. Our Eishes Chayil is a woman of many different talents. Although we’ve seen from previous pesukim that she dabbles in many different arenas, she’s still involved in spinning thread.

Why? On a simple level, making clothes when you have to start from scratch by spinning fiber into thread is an arduous and time-consuming task, one that a woman was continuously involved in.

The Alshich Hakadosh sees the process of spinning on a loom, where a woman pulls the raw fibers from the kishor down toward the pelech, as symbolic of the human body bringing down kedushah to This World through doing good deeds. Perhaps the garments that are ultimately made from the threads she spins allude to the holy garments with which the soul of a righteous person is adorned.

In the Midbar, all women with chochmas lev, wisdom of the heart, were tasked with spinning beautiful threads they then donated to the Mishkan. Certainly, there is skill and artistry in this work, but why does the Torah require wisdom of the heart?

The threads that are spun symbolize the threads of connection, which is one of a woman’s great spiritual strengths — to see every person and every situation in terms of the connections that can be formed. There are two types of connections: that of one being to another, and that of every action to its ultimate purpose. The Eishes Chayil excels at both.

The Gemara says (Yoma 66b): There is no chochmah to woman but in the pelech, the spindle. Feminine wisdom is in the spindle of life. For that, one needs chochmas halev, an understanding of how hearts connect, as it requires great wisdom to know how to forge and maintain connection with others. Here Shlomo Hamelech lauds that ability because it is the connections our Eishes Chayil creates with her wisdom that builds the Jewish People from the inside out.

Rebbetzin Debbie Greenblatt is a senior lecturer for the Gateways organization and a teacher of both the observant and the not-yet-observant. She is also director of education at Core.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 950)