"B ilaam raised his eyes and saw Yisrael dwelling according to its tribes and the spirit of G-d rested upon him.”

(Bamidbar 24:2)

Rashi says that Bilaam saw that the opening of each tent didn’t face any other; this caused him not to curse them.

This aspect is one of the most beautiful of Bnei Yisrael’s and a cornerstone of our holiness. There are a lot of halachos learned from this.

The first obviously is tzniyus. A person shouldn’t peek into his friend’s house. Man is curious by nature and his eyes are pulled after everything new. It happens that you pass an open door or a window opening to the street. Train your eyes until it’s second nature to look in the opposite direction until you pass.

When two people are arguing or shouting in public it’s certainly not appropriate to gather around to watch the performance. Of course it’s not pleasant that they lost their tempers in public but don’t look peek or compromise the privacy of your friend. (Rav Shimshon Pincus Tiferes Shimshon)

When we first got married we lived in a yechidah — euphemistically translated as a studio apartment. (Although an artist would have to be pretty starving and desperate to work in such a studio.)

The apartment was dug underneath my landlord’s apartment — a long basement railroad-type of layout each room opening to the next. The front door opened to a narrow dining room that led to a galley kitchen that led to an even narrower bedroom.

There were two tiny window slits that offered the tantalizing view of the bugs and birds scurrying by on the packed earth above.

But despite its lack of air and lights we were pleased with our little domain. It was snug cozy and ours.

There’s a third topic that’s very appropriate in our days — don’t be jealous of what your friend owns. This is a sickness; a person sees what his friend has and all of a sudden he needs this too. We see this by children: “But everyone has one!”

The true Jewish perspective is not to look in the first place. (ibid.)

Come summertime though the coziness quickly evaporated into cramped and claustrophobic. I’d find myself desperate for a breath of fresh air. To solve the problem I’d open up the front door to let in a bit of breeze.

This took care of the air issue but opened another. Our front door faced a narrow hallway and directly across was the office of a prominent frum doctor.

In general I didn’t mind the close proximity of this extraordinary person. This doctor learned morning and afternoon hours and only opened his office for night seder. Night seder often lasted well past tikkun chatzos but having been the recipient of many a chesed and house call from this incredible neighbor I didn’t mind the crowd spilling over into the hallway and often offered chairs or water to those waiting.

The only catch was summertime. It was awkward to have my front door open while there were so many people milling about so despite the heat I’d close the door as soon as office hours began. Occasionally I’d lose track of time but a burst of conversation in the direction of the dining room usually had me running.

Lastly there’s another fundamental in this issue of tzniyus — not to delve and reveal the secrets of your friend. The best way to avoid this is not to be the type that’s constantly searching and delving to find out what’s going on with others. This is the antithesis of tzniyus and is trespassing on others’ privacy.

As a holy nation we don’t peek into our friends’ lives. Through this may all the brachos rest upon us. (ibid.)

On the days when the crowd beat me before I had a chance to close my door I’d crack up at people’s comments as they passed my apartment on the way to the doctor.

“Look what a huge basement apartment!”

“These people are so lucky to have such a big yechidah! Look how long it is!”

Little did they know that the lucky resident of this enormous apartment was plastered against the kitchen wall to avoid being seen by them. Sure my apartment was long but what you saw was what you got. There was no width.

When we bought our own house one of the first things I noticed and appreciated was that the front door opened to a small private hallway. I’d had enough of an open-door policy. (Originally featured in Family First Issue 549)