When the sustenance and materialism are used for kedushah, they’re kadosh

“Yisro rejoiced over all the good that Hashem had done for Yisrael….” (Shemos 18:9)

Rashi asks, what “good” caused Yisro to rejoice? That they were fed food from Heaven, they received water from the rock, and given the Torah. This combination seems inappropriate. How can you compare Klal Yisrael’s sustenance with kabbalas haTorah?

Many sing the song, “Hamavdil bein kodesh l’chol” after Havdalah. In it we request that “Hashem give us multiple children and lots of money.” Rav Shimon Schwab asked: How do request, in the same sentence, to have children and to have money? We just said, “hamavdil bein kodesh l’chol,” drawing the distinction between holy and mundane, then we talk about money and children in the same breath? (Rav Yisrael Reisman, Shiurim al Chumash).

When it comes to the subject of paying children allowances for doing chores, I’m wishy-washy. On one hand, I feel that every child should be responsible to contribute to the overall maintenance of the house, (especially their own messes, which somehow fall under the category of, “He’s in charge of the dining room table, so I don’t have to take away my pencil case!”).

Still, with some of my children, I’ve seen the value in assigning certain chores and “paying” them with an allowance. I put payment in quotes because I want it to be clear to the child that this is a symbolic payment to teach them financial responsibility, budgeting, and the need to pay for their own mishugasim (i.e., read: what everyone else in the class has).

Rav Schwab answered that there’s no inconsistency. It’s true that money is something that can mislead people to evil, sins, and misplaced values. Nevertheless, we know that as much as something has a negative potential, it has an equal positive potential. At the moment that a person understands the difference between the holy and the mundane, that’s the moment he can ask for both money and children. He’s telling Hashem, “I want to use my money, not for kavod or materialism, but as a tool for kedushah.”

(Incidentally Rabbi Schwab said this during an appeal for the yeshivah, telling his audience that money is there for this purpose.)

So although Shloime’s my youngest, he’s not the first of my children to receive an allowance. Shloime loves the trends, whatever’s circulating the playground at recess is an absolute-mandatory-must-have-immediately. So we established his job and budget. Every afternoon, Shloime’s in charge of cleaning up the toys and sweeping the living/dining room floor, and for that he receives a grand sum of one shekel/day (approximately a quarter), five days of the week. (I draw the line at “paying” for Shabbos help.)

During the winter, the rage in cheder is sticker albums (which bear no resemblance to the albums of my day). These albums are mass-produced with the goal of winning a major raffle should one buy and barter and manage to fill all the pages of the album according to number. Some albums have a niflaos haBorei theme, some a pesukim theme. (Here’s the religious aspect so parents can feel there’s something worthwhile.) Stickers are sold in packs of six, two shekel/a pack. The race is on. Shloime waits anxiously for his two-day, two-shekel payment, then runs to the local candy store that sells the stickers. Some stickers are more valuable than others (determined by whom? Who knows!) while others are used as bargaining chips. Personally, I fail to get worked up at a raffle that only a handful of kids from the whole country will win, but youth will be youth.

Back to our Rashi. When Yisro saw the good of Klal Yisrael’s sustenance, he realized its potential to aid their ability to learn Torah. The Mechilta says that Torah was only given to those who ate the mahn. When the sustenance and materialism are used for kedushah, they’re kadosh.

Last Thursday afternoon, the doorbell rang. Outside was an older man, who stretched out his hand and said he was collecting for his family’s food for Shabbos. I asked to wait a minute, and went for my wallet.

“I’ll give him!” shouted Shloime, surprising me. “I want to give him tzedakah!” He ran to his room and came back holding aloft a shiny five-shekel coin — his entire salary of that week. “Here,” he said to the man, “l’kavod Shabbos kodesh!”

Anyone who says that money can’t buy happiness didn’t see Shloime’s glowing face as he gently closed the door.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 931)