We’re living today with so much paradox. We feel so much pain, but also so much love

“Seven other cows came… ugly and lean and stood by the other cows…” (Bereishis 41:3) 

In the second dream, Pharaoh sees something similar: Seven shriveled ears of grain swallow seven fat ears of grain. None of the wise men of Egypt can offer Pharaoh a satisfactory interpretation of his dreams, until Yosef offers his famous interpretation of years of plenty followed by years of famine.
What exactly was so brilliant about Yosef’s interpretation that no one else could think of it? (Rabbi YY Jacobson, theyeshiva.net)

I

’m no actuary, but statistics aside, I’d venture to guess that most people out there are experiencing difficulties. I mean, when’s the last time you met someone at the grocery and she started gushing about how perfect her life was. “My cleaning lady’s so consistent and comes every day, so I can use that extra time for self-care, and I feel so indulged….”

As I said, I can’t vouch for the statistics, but I’ve never had such a conversation, have you?

The Lubavitcher Rebbe presented the following explanation. The dream experts of Egypt did conceive of Yosef’s interpretation to Pharaoh’s dreams, yet they dismissed this interpretation because it didn’t account for one important detail of the dream. The dream states that the lean cows stood together with the fat cows. There was a moment when both sets of cows coexisted simultaneously, and it was this detail of the dream that confounded all the wise men.  How was it possible that plenty and famine should coexist? You can’t be wealthy and poor at once.

This is where Yosef’s brilliance was displayed. Yosef understood that the coexistence of the two sets of cows in the dream contained the solution to the approaching famine: During the years of plenty, Egypt must live with the consciousness of the pending years of famine as though they were already present. If they’d do so, by preserving food for the famine, then during the famine they would carry over the plenty then as well.

That’s what impressed Pharaoh so deeply. Yosef didn’t only have an interpretation, but also a solution.  

Schmoozes with friends usually include some mention of difficulties, whether with the kids, parnassah, gezunt, or any other topic. We’re a society that’s perfected the art of complaining, because somehow, whoever has it the hardest, wins the contest. (What’s the prize? I don’t know.)

Deep down, I think we each know that despite our difficulties, our lives are full of good as well. No one actually has a completely bad life. Yes, people have hardships in life and some will venture that their very existence is difficult. But each challenge coexists with kindness and generosity. And it’s up to us to find the good within the harder elements. To focus on the hugs as well as the hard.

All of us experience cycles of plenty and of famine in our lives. There are times when we have moral, emotional, and spiritual clarity. At other times, we’re hungry for clarity, for calmness.

This was Yosef’s power. He taught us how to integrate the two paradoxical states of consciousness. We must be dreamers, because when we’re awake our brains cannot accept this paradox. When we learn to take the paradox of our dreams and integrate them into our waking lives we can discover that both parts of ourselves are welcome, and each has a job in expressing all the facets of our lives.

We’re living today with so much paradox. We feel so much pain, but also so much love. We need to focus on both of these experiences and how they can coexist.

When I meet my friend in the grocery and we catch up on all the obstacles we’re both experiencing, I could also throw in that, “Would you believe I found a parking place right in front of the store!” Hug moment.

And when wailing about tuition stress and the expense of Chanukah gifts, wouldn’t it be gratifying to pay attention to the tax return you just received from Uncle Sam? Hug here, too.

Life can be tough. But the tough see the softness, too. And comment on it. Life is a bowl of cherries, but pay attention. You get to the sweetness well before the pits.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 973)