Do I, don’t I, do I, don’t I, I made all the nano-second calculations we mothers do. “Yes. Sure”

The women’s eyes brightened when they saw the book. Just wait till they heard it! The past few times I’d spoken there’d been a rock in my stomach, chest, and throat. This time I felt excited. I wanted to do this.

“The Gift of Nothing,” I started dramatically. I held the book up, like it was story time in kindergarten, and warmed my voice, “It was a special day…” I continued to read the story of the cat Mooch who was looking for the perfect gift for his dog friend Earl.

The women leaned forward, some smiling, others looking a bit more skeptical. Mooch couldn’t find anything anywhere, I read, and ultimately decided to gift Earl with the gift of nothing — “nothing, but me and you.” I paused here to let it sink in, then finished the book. “So Mooch and Earl just stayed still and enjoyed nothing and everything.”

I lingered on the last page, letting the women take in the last picture and message. Gently, I closed the book, laid it down on the lectern, and stepped in front of it. It was supposed to be a normal speech, but I’m already breaking the rules, might as well really do it my way, and remove the space between us.

My belly flip-flopped. “With Rosh Hashanah coming, I find myself in kabbalah-making mode, but maybe my relationship with Hashem calls for a different approach.”

“Omigosh,” Sarah Singer, I thought that was her name, gushed. “I never thought about it this way.”

That was quick.

“We’re so transactional and representational in our relationships, when we really just need to be present,” a woman who talks like an English teacher added.

I hadn’t expected the discussion to happen so fast, but I was more than fine with it. “Tell me more,” I encouraged Leora. Hey, if she wanted to give this speech, go for it.

“It’s not a new message, just new packaging, and sometimes that makes all the difference. I’ve often heard that Hashem just wants us to have a relationship with Him, and it never completely resonated with me. But putting it in this context of familial love and quality time — l’havdil, of course — made it strike more of a chord with me.”

I nodded. That’s exactly what I intended. And while I saw a couple women cocking their head in skepticism or objection, there were other women nodding along. It was just like the library, the women exploring, me guiding and prodding a bit. It wasn’t a speech, it wasn’t a workshop, it was something else, a glorious something else. I felt like I was a school secretary again, asking just the right questions and comments to keep the parents busy and focused until the principal was ready to see them.