I slumped on the bed and stared with blank eyes. New place, new role, new mother, too much

“The doctor says I have to be active, walk at least a half hour a day. And wear compression stockings,” I told Avrumi as we ate a late supper together.

“Didn’t you have this with other pregnancies?”

“Yes, but later in my second trimester. Not days after I find out I’m expecting.”

“Well, we did find out you’re expecting later than usual. Didn’t you say you’re already in your third month?”

“Shkoyach,” I scoffed, “there’s a big difference between week 10 and week 25. Have you ever tried pulling up those compression stockings? That should be my daily exercise itself.”

Arvrumi chuckled. He wouldn’t be laughing if he’d ever had to wear those stockings.

“Whatever you need, Chana, to help you feel better — watch the kids while you exercise, or pick up something for you at the grocery — let me know.”

I smiled at Avrumi, he’s so good like that, super attentive the nanosecond I’m needy. And I haven’t needed him like this in a long time. My legs might be killing me, but there are some perks.

“Yehudis sent me information about a public speaking course. N’shei is covering the cost.”

Avrumi raised a brow. “This is in their budget?”

“Don’t look at me, all I know is that it means more pressure for me.”

Avrumi frowned. I kept quiet, don’t need to make him feel worse than he already does.

The air was dead and silent for too long. I couldn’t take it anymore. “I was thinking of walking to the library,” I piped up. “It’s like a 15 minute walk and can you believe I still don’t have a library card?”

Avrumi didn’t say anything. Are libraries okay for rebbetzins? I wasn’t going to consider that.

“Anyway, this new situation is amazing. I’ve been singing Thank You, Hashem in my head all day. It’s not what I expected, or was looking for, but now that it’s here, wow!”

Avrumi broke into a real smile. “I always love your attitude. You want to be positive, therefore, you are.”

“It takes too much energy to stay grumpy. Who has time for that?”