“Who said I want to go back to the dorm?” Chaim interjected. What? That wasn’t in the script

I sat straight at the dining room table. I even had a pen and paper with me. Yehudis had texted me the other day — What time are you available? There’s something I need to discuss with you — and I wanted to be ready.

I could relate to Chaim now, to that sinking feeling of “What did I do now?” and “What will she say?” I mentally ran through our last few encounters. My last shiur was before Yom Tov, that was forever ago. I’d also met her niece, but I didn’t think that wasn’t anything. I was drawing a blank.

I don’t know what it is about Yehudis that makes me pull my creases straighter. Well, cancel that, I do know. We’re opposites and not in a complementary way. She disapproves at a fundamental level with my approach to life. It’s funny, cause I get along with everyone, but she seems determined to have herself be the exception. I think we started off okay, but it went south so swiftly. Was it just the speeches? Did she hate the kid book shtick that much?

The phone rang. I pounced.

Yehudis got to her point efficiently, “Yom Tov is always a busy time, and I just realized I never spoke to you about our upcoming anniversary.”

“Mazal Tov! How long are you married?”

Long pause.

“The shul’s anniversary. Ten years.”

I chuckled, Yehudis did not.

“Beautiful, what are we doing for it?”

“The Neshei formed a committee in the summer to work on it and we’re reconvening now. We’re going to host a gala Shabbos for the shul members and the foundational donors who helped the shul start and continue to support it today.”

“Wow, sounds like you have it all figured out.” I noticed I didn’t seem to feature.

“Yes, so it’s going to be in six weeks, parshas Vayeishev. We already have a party planner and caterer booked.”

“So where do I fit in?” I cut to the chase.

“As our rebbetzin, you represent our shul in ruchniyus.” She paused. “And in gashmiyus.

I figured six weeks is a long enough time to pull together an appropriate speech.”

Appropriate. Interesting word choice