I gave Avrumi a look. “You’re not getting this, Chaim told me this and then said, ‘Well, now I’m a lo yutzlach’ ”

Shani Leiman with Zivia Reischer

"Want potato kugel?”

Chaim grunted and sat down. I supposed that was a yes. I got out a plastic plate and cut a large piece for him, then got out the coleslaw, scooped it onto the plate, and poured a cup of Dr. Pepper.

“At your service,” I said as I slid the plate before Chaim. He grunted. Was that a thank-you? I looked at the chicken defrosting on the counter, then pulled out the chair next to Chaim. Shabbos was coming, but my schnitzel could wait.

“What’s up?” I asked. Chaim shrugged and grunted. Since when was he such a grunter? He took a bite of kugel, I waited a moment then pounced.

“Is it good?”

Got a one-shoulder shrug this time. Give it up, Chana.

I’d almost returned to the chicken cutlets when Chaim finally spoke. “The rosh yeshivah introduced me to a guy today. Said he’ll be my new night seder chavrusa.”

“Oh, nice. Is he new in yeshivah?”

Chaim rolled his eyes.

“Did I miss something?”

“This guy’s like a tutor, he helps guys get up to speed if they’re not chapping the sugya, or he works on their Gemara vocabulary.”

“Interesting.” I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant. I assumed it was bad, but I wanted to hear what Chaim thought.

“Well, now I’m definitely a lo yutzlach.” He was trying to joke, but he sounded bitter.

“Chaim, you know that’s not true,” I started, but Chaim responded by taking so large a mouthful of potato kugel that even if he’d wanted to, he wouldn’t be able to speak for a minute.

Conversation over.

“We’ll talk later,” I said, standing up and patting him on his back.

I left the kitchen in search of Avrumi, and found him in the guest room putting towels on the bed. Leah and Pinny were coming for Shabbos. His face was neutral but as soon as he saw me, it mirrored mine.

“What’s wrong?”

“Chaim just told me that the rosh yeshivah introduced him to a tutor for night seder. A new ‘chavrusa,’ the rosh yeshivah said.”

Avrumi nodded. “That’s a great idea. I’m glad he’s being proactive.”

I gave Avrumi a look. “You’re not getting this, Chaim told me this and then said, ‘Well, now I’m a lo yutzlach.’ ” I lowered my voice, trying to capture and imitate Chaim’s pain.

Avrumi sucked in his cheeks, his equivalent of an eye roll. “Of course Chaim hates it, it cramps his style. But I think it’s great. Hopefully this guy will push him.”

“Avrumi, you’re not getting this. He’s not going to be able to learn well if his self-esteem is destroyed. It’s mortifying to have a tutor.”