“Because, Bella, if I live life always playing it safe, then I won’t ever get very far. Literally or figuratively"

There’s an excited anticipation in the air when I wake up. I stretch lazily, dress, and head downstairs to see if Naftoli has left for the airport yet. He hasn’t, he’s slumped on the couch, his backpack between his legs, looking slightly green.

“Hey, Tuls, when you guys leaving?”

“Ten minutes.”

I peer at him. “You okay?”

“Mhhm.”

I squint. He’s obviously nervous about something. “Uh, do you kind of wish you knew the other guys going?”

Naftoli closes his eyes. “Nah, s’fine.”

I sit across from him and study the pitiful specimen in front of me. And then I remember a fact about Naftoli that I’d long forgotten.

“Flying! You hate flying!”

His eyes spring open and his ears turn bright red. “Nuh-uh!”

“HA! Yuh-huh! I remember, we were at the Intrepid museum and the guide said something about flying and you said, ‘Better you than me.’ Naftoli! Why on earth are you going if you’re scared of planes?”

He looks at me and I have to look away because the blaze of determination on his face is so apparent that I feel like I’m trespassing.

“Because, Bella, if I live life always playing it safe, then I won’t ever get very far. Literally or figuratively.”

*****

The house seems quieter with Naftoli gone. Of course, there are still brothers all over, but somehow, everything seems more muted.

He’ll be fine, he only threw up once before getting into the car.

I snort-laugh and then feel bad.

There’s a pitcher of iced coffee in the fridge. I pour myself a tall glass and then head upstairs for a little rest and relaxation. Sinking onto the bed, I reach for my book and then stop. I sit up straight. Hashem, I think. Please let Naftoli be okay. Please let him have the most amazing time and heal from his hard year.

Then, pleased with myself and my sisterly efforts, I crack open my book and lose myself in its pages.