A tzaddik falls seven times and gets up. And that, my fellow ADHD sufferers, is really the key to overcoming ADHD

A close friend of mine who also has ADHD commented to me that my serial paints too rosy a picture of ADHD. I’d made it sound like the struggles can easily be overcome by just following certain prescriptions, she said. Put on an alarm to remind you to make dinner, and you’ll have dinner prepared in no time. Go for a walk with your husband every night and soon you’ll be best friends.

I agreed with her, and I disagreed with her.

As in, the tips and tricks and ideas work best if my new systems are consistently adhered to: Two loads of laundry a day will make the laundry piles go away. Stick to a menu, and the shopping list and what to make for supper every night will follow.

The problem lies in the consistent application. Because even if I have the best systems, they’re systems built on the stilts of my ADHD: my tendency to procrastinate and lose focus, my difficulty prioritizing. And stilts are pretty wobbly — they’re fragile foundations for the big enterprise that is a large household.

Sheva yipol tzaddik v’kam. A tzaddik falls seven times and gets up. And that, my fellow ADHD sufferers, is really the key to overcoming ADHD. Knowing that you’re going to mess up over and over and over again — even though you know that tomorrow night is schnitzel night, you’ll still forget to take the cutlets out of the freezer; you’ll hear your alarm ringing and won’t be able to put down the book you’re reading; although the secretary called in the morning to confirm your dentist appointment, come the afternoon and you’ll forget. And life will happen, too, good things and challenging things. You’ll make a simchah, and that will throw you off. It will be Pesach. A child will be home for a week with strep. There will be a snow day.