Every family simchah throws my careful plans into a wild tailspin

The ping of my phone cuts through the chaos in the hallway, where a child with a suspected fracture is wailing loudly. I have a few precious moments to myself, and I’m trying to sneak a few pretzels (whole wheat, of course) and not overthink my last case. The teenager hadn’t seemed acutely distressed — had I made the right call in pushing for an MRI?

My flip phone chirps again, and I finally check the texts. My coworkers are always fascinated by this vestige of a bygone era, but calling and texting are all I need. The last thing I want is more blinking screens — between reading vital signs on monitors, EKGs to detect heart rhythms, and venous ultrasounds, I prefer to leave the high-tech devices to the hospital.

It’s a text from my mother: Gershon’s going out on his sixth date tomorrow! Keep davening 😊

That’s amazing! 😊 😊 I text back, but all the smiley emojis in the world can’t mask the truth.

I’m equal parts excited and nervous at the news. It’s hard to imagine that Gershon, my baby brother, is really dating. Yet I’m not nervous about whether the date will go well or not. I’ve been so busy lately that I don’t even know who he’s going out with — what I’m worried about, in that deep, dark place where I store the thoughts I can’t share, is that Gershon will become engaged.

The scenario (as I automatically check to see which room I’m assigned to next) is stark. A l’chayim. A vort. The chasunah (probably in Lakewood; where else do people make chasunahs these days?). Sheva brachos. Shabbos sheva brachos. And I’ll be expected to attend, which makes sense, since I’m a sibling, and of course I want to attend everything. Not to mention searching for a gown, and so on, ad infinitum. But while the festivities seem endless, my free time is not. People are sometimes shocked when I tell them: I don’t “get off” during residency. There are three to four weeks of personal days over the course of the year, but if you factor in all the Yamim Tovim, that free time quickly evaporates.